Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim
co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books
Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.
Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!
We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.
Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:
Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.
Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.
Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.
Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.
Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.
Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.
Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.
ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.
Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.
Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.
Telephone Calls: These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.
Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."
Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.
According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:
"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...
Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...
Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...
I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."
You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.
Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.
Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.
Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.
Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.
Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.
For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."
Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.
Webmaster: Will Guggenheim
Comment
I'm glad the medicines the doctor gave you are helping and you can avoid the hospitals. Maybe God meant us to meet on here, so we can support each other through this. It is weird sometimes how much alike we are. Our dads were very much alike. We are both artists. We are both terrified of doctors and hospitals. We both have our blood pressure skyrocket when we go to them. I'm a hypocrite too, and I know it. Whenever anyone I care about is even a little sick I'm reminding them to go to the doctor, but I don't go myself. And, as i tell my friends to go to the doctor I'm sitting there thinking to myself that I'm a hypocrite. I see a counselor for it. It is a full-blown phobia. I don't know how long it will take me to get over it or if I ever will.
so far so good storyas hospitles skare me silly thy make my blood presure go sky hi sum times its over 180 or 200 i no it sonds bad i no others is worse thn me even thm kids 1 thy try to put in me they still never fond a vein im so skared of hospitles iv got this silly idea tht u dont com out of thm plases alive im all ways telling other peple to go and get help i must be a big hipcript wen i never take my own advise but like i saed in my last post i can handle the oxgin and nebulizer just the hospiles and neadles pluss hospitles hav tht smelll im not going to say whot it is in case i skare other people i no im skared the sam is storyas
jb - are you doing better since you went to the doctor? I hope you didn't have to go to the hospital and that the stuff the doctor gave you is working. I know how you feel - I'm terrified of hospitals now after all I saw my dad go through. Just terrified of them. Doctors too. Every time I go to the doctor my blood pressure immediately shoots through the roof and they think I have this super high blood pressure but then it goes down to borderline high when I get home and take it at home. I'm that terrified of them. Last time I went my bp shot so high I almost gave myself a heart attack - I was having chest pains. I told my doctor I'm afraid I'm going to scare myself to death trying to get medical treatments. I think the thing you are talking about going in your arm is the IV? My dad had problems too. His veins were getting so used up and they were small too. They started using child sized needles on him and then it was easier on him and the person putting the needle in. You might want to ask your doctor about putting child sized IV needles on your chart.
it happend agaim with the ballon on 2 ballon i wote to my dad 1 poppet the other 1 jumpet and waved and popet i thng im geting sines from ballons im skared silly of hospitles i am iv had the nebulizers and oxgian before im ok wit that i dont like that wot u call it thng thy stick in yore hand or arm coz thy can never find veins on me on my arms or hand the wud do beter heting blood out of a ston i thng that wud hav more blood in it
I'm glad you went to the doctor and I hope you don't have to go to the hospital - I pray! It sounds like some of your hospitals are as bad as some of ours and they scare me too for that reason. I hope you have been doing okay over the weekend and that you don't have to go to the hospital.
i did go to the dr storyas got sum stuf got told if i get any worse at the weakend fone for a ambulanse to take me to casualty ed apartment or a and e keep on changingg the name of thngs i mite nead nebulizizez in my system sats wer ok but all the stress as borot a episode flare up on i fianaly admited i cant fase the hospilte im scared in case i get admitedd to tht respty ward my dad woz on withh lazy nursesone my lick tht wud happen non my look thd probly hav me arested i no wot u mean abot drreams bean so real the best 1s u dont want to wake up but the bad dreams last all nite i had to buy a dream catcher to stop thm the womon on the market stall wear i got it from must of thort i woz a nut case
Kali - I know how you feel. We don't want to admit they are gone and we want to hold onto them forever. It is hard not to long for the way things used to be. I see my grand-nieces and nephews and think - my Mom and Dad should be here. But, I think they are. My grand-nieces and nephews have experiences that seem like they are aware too. And, most of the adults in the family do too. I guess the only thing you can do is trust and have faith that he is with you and okay until you are able to have more experiences than these dreams. But, hold onto those dreams. You are right - those dreams feel different than other dreams (just like the phone calls feel different than other phone calls in addition to not showing up on my call log). You just know deep inside yourself. Hold onto that. I'm sure he was telling you he is okay. Blessings to you.
jb - that is amazing that those balloons keep popping for you. My phone keeps ringing too. It happened again last week. I love my dad so much. I miss him so much. Every time it rings like that I jump up and grab it. this last time there was some weird sound that I've never heard anything like and every few seconds bells would ring - 3 times louder to softer. I don't know why this happens, but the bible says there will be gifts of the spirit and that now we see as through a glass darkly, so there is much we don't understand. I'm just accepting these gifts and being grateful for them even if I don't understand them.
I went to the grocery store last night and I just walked by a case and saw Neopolitan ice cream and started crying. My dad loved Neopolitan ice cream. I hope they have Neopolitan ice cream and kit kats and everything else he likes to eat in heaven.
Yes, you probably should see a doctor, but I'm the world's biggest hypocrite by telling you that. I haven't seen a doctor in a long time. After the medical mistakes and neglect and abuse my dad experienced, I have a phobia of doctors. The last time I tried to go to the doctor I didn't get beyond the threshold. They started to take my blood pressure and my blood pressure shot so high from fear that I started having chest pains, and I told the doctor that I needed to get out of there before I had a heart attack. My chest was actually seizing up with pain. I almost scared myself to death. My blood pressure was 170/130. I got home and took it several times as I calmed down and it went down to borderline high in an hour 140/90. By the next morning it was normal. I told my grief counselor that if I force this phobia right now and force myself to go to the doctor that I will literally scare myself to death.
me 2 storyas i nead to slow doon to i thnk nead a good kick up the behind to forse my self to sea a dr i woz at 95th bday party yesterday a freind of mum and dads i still call him uncle bill mum enjoyed her but still stressed out uncle bill not realy my uncle survid canser we all say he will liv us all out just sum days mum gets her self deprssed she thorts she saw my dad siting on the sofa in the front room iv had more exsprenes with ballons popping its abot 12 tims now evry leter i wite to him thy pop sum times withh a loud bag it sum times scares the birds away wen i do it
I am an emotional person but I am also an over thinker... The medium I saw a few weeks after Chris died said my grief blocks me from feeling him etc.. b/c once I can feel him and connect with him it means my heart has to accept he is really gone. I have dreamt about him a few times.. but only one felt real and we didn't speak in it. I know he can't be with me all the time but I want to know when he is...
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