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After Death Communication
~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim
co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books
Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.
Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!
We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.
Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:
Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.
Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.
Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.
Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.
Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.
Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.
Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.
ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.
Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.
Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.
Telephone Calls: These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.
Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."
Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.
According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:
"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...
Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...
Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...
I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."
You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.
Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.
Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.
Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.
Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.
Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.
For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."
Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.
Webmaster: Will Guggenheim
Comment
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Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on January 2, 2013 at 3:11pm
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jb - It makes me sick too. It happened to my Mom's grave once. My dad was still alive. Me and my Dad and all the Grandchildren got together and really decorated my Mom's grave nice for Christmas the Christmas after she died. We put a tree on her grave and a wreath and poinsettias and then we put these wooden candy canes on each corner and put frog garland around, because she loved frogs. Someone came and destroyed it. We got so upset that we were sitting there crying and this lady who had a family grave near my Mom's came over and told us that she'd seen the person tear it up. He caught her attention cuz he was being really mad and cussing us for putting it up, so she took a picture of him. She showed us the picture, and it was my brother - the one I told you about that abused my dad and Adult Protective Services took my dad from him and gave him to me to care for. So, after that experience, it just sickens me to think of someone stealing from a grave. It's not like something they can't live without like food or something. I would understand if I put a cake on the grave and a hungry person or even animal came along and ate it. But, we can live without flowers, so there is no reason to steal them. If you need the beauty of flowers, go and look at them for as long as you want and then leave them in peace for the person they were left for.
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Comment by dream moon JO B on January 1, 2013 at 4:51pm
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i wish i new whot time of person wud pinch flowers just makes me mad thnking abot it i went up on xmas eve wear my dads ashes is buried put the flowrs in the varse i no i cheat iv got plant fead for flowerds hidin some wear so the flowers can last longer thn i go up on sunday to check on thm to add more plant fead to get a shock tht some horbel personhad stole thm soe body had tost some 1s weath away off this mans sons grave i dont why people steal off graves must be sic in the hed
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What kind of person would take someone's flowers they left for a loved one at the loved one's grave? That is horrible. I'm not sure it is you using the computer wrong. I am not good with computers either. I bet it is me doing something wrong. I will get my husband to help me. I will tell you what happens with the balloons when I take them to my parent's graves.
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hi storyas happy new yr for 2013 no u just blow the ballons up my self thn let thm go it happend again wen i went up to check up on my dads ashes wear thy r buried but some horbel person pinchet the flowers i left in the varses if the code is wong it me not bean good with computers
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Hi jb - I'm sorry Christmas was so hard for you. I didn't realize your dad's birthday was 12/26 - that must make it double hard for you. I am so sorry you have to go through that each year. I tried to look at the video, but I could not get it to work. I will talk to my husband when he gets home and see if he can help me make it to work. I am so sorry to hear abut your uncle and am so sorry to hear he was on that same ward with the lazy nurses. I can't understand why so many hospitals let that kind of thing go on. I remember once when I went to visit my dad he was sitting in his wheelchair screaming for help and they were ignoring him and just having a party around the nurses station. I was SOOOO mad. I hope your aunt understands why you get sick when you start to walk in the hospital. Maybe you can talk to her and tell her why you feel so badly going to the hospital. I feel the same way. I can't even stand to drive past the hospital any more. I know my friends must be getting so tired of me, because still I cry too often. I just drive by the hospital and I start to cry. There are just so many horrible memories - not just of him being sick but of how bad they treated him. There was only one hospital in this city I live in where there are many many hospitals that treated him good. When he went to Christ hospital, they treated him good. Any place else we went, I would find myself sitting on the floor crying whenever he went to sleep and couldn't see me cry, because I just couldn't even get the staff to act like they cared. And, the nursing home was even worse. Thank God for Christ hospital. At the end, I wouldn't let the paramedics take him any place else. I will let you know what happens with the balloons. I want to go over on Friday morning on my way to a meeting I have to go to near the cemetary. I plan to take balloons then. Do you fill them with helium or just blow them up with your own breath? I do hope that you are feeling a little better now that Christmas is over. I will talk to you soon.
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thaqnks storyas i hope u get a reply on yore ballons 2 evry time thy pop i seam to get more strange dreams abot my dad some times the dreams feal so real like its realy happend wen i wake up after the dreams im like did it happen or woz it a dream im pleased the nite mares stopet thnks to the dream catcher my dads best mate died last month my surgate uncle i called him uncle bill he died on the same ward my dad died on his dorter saied at the funrall he got s@@t tretment and lazy nurse doing nout just gsping my anti woz in hospilte but i feal ashamed for not gping to sea her the thort of seting foot in the hospilte made me feal ill it give me a nerves stomic but thnk god she is home got out ob xmas eve day she has emthasina smoket from the age of 11 she is 80 now but wont pack in smoking iv just lernet how to make movies on my movie maker on hear i posted some on vimeo evry time i try to catch the ballons pop im to late to switch my camcorda on to catch thm i am its like no u wont catch me xmas woz hard it woz this yer xmas day woz hard seaning people asking how in feal me with tears in my eyes thn 26th decmber bean my dads bday but xmas time has allways bean my dads time of yr iy has he loved xmas he did hear is a code for 1 http://vimeo.com/527604437loop=1"
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jb - Hi. Thank you for the pictures. The first picture in the cemetary where you see the misty light - I see that all the time. Sometimes just even in my own home. In my home, it seems to mostly happen at night, when I up alone wandering the house. At first I thought my eyes were going bad, but I just had them tested. Other than needing a slightly stronger glasses, my eyes were fine. No signs of disease of any kind. I started seeing that a while ago - I think that began after my Mom died instead of after my Dad died, but it has continued since my Dad died.
I hope you don't mind, jb, but I stole your idea. I went to the store and bought a bag of balloons, and I am going to start writing letters and taking the to the grave in the blown up balloons. We'll see if any of mine pop like so many of yours have popped. I also bought some glass globe ornaments where you can decorate them yourself, and I bought enough of those on sale to put a globe and a balloon both on each of my parent's graves each week. I also bought a bunch of clip on butterflies - enough to put one on their grave each week, that I plan to clip to flowers I take for them to bring some spring to them.
I've been feeling very sad the last few days. I think some of it is Christmas. I think some of it is the stress of Christmas being over and giving me some downtime. I think some of it is some things that have happened. My dad was victim of very very very severe child abuse that left him handicapped and having PTSD all of his life. I now understand a little bit what he felt like with PTSD when he was alive. I had a neighbor move in about four years ago. She was a lot like the grandparents who abused my dad - mean, snarly, fight provoking, drunk all the time, on drugs all the time. She told me she had been in jail several times for felony drug convictions. Each time her sister kept her kids, but then she got them back when she got out of jail, but the sister still wants the kids to give them more stability. Well, I tried to be friends with her, mostly for the kids. When she first moved in, the Mom would leave the kids alone and walk up and down the street all night knocking on our doors at all hours. Sometimes we'd find her asleep on the neighbors lawn or on someone's roof. It was crazy. But, I kept being nice to her for the kids. When my dad was dying, I had to make him the priority. I was under so much stress the whole time I was taking care of my dad and she made it harder every step of the way, but I was not going to let her do that while my dad was dying. I told her No - I was staying with my Dad. She got so mad that she started saying hateful hateful hateful things to me like, "Everyone has problems but the fact that I would make my problems more important than hers showed that I was unstable." Get real! My dad was dying - huge problem. She wanted me to sit and watch her drink, so she wouldn't feel alone. No comparison. Had she been a friend to me at all she would have lived her own words, realized my problem was greater and been there to support me instead of trying to mow me over to make me be with her instead of my dying dad. Well, she moved away about six weeks ago, and I was on top of the world. I will miss her kids, but I was so glad she was gone that me and my husband stood in the middle of our living room and did a happy dance at least three or four times a day for over a week. Well, I learned on Christmas Day that before she left she went up and down my street and told people horrible things about me to get even with me for deciding to be there for my dad as he died instead of being there to help her through another drunken binge. Well, 99% of the people don't believe her, because if they've lived here long enough they remember finding her asleep on their lawns, etc. Even the ones who moved in after that but have been her for a couple of weeks have witness or experienced her extremely mean and loud screaming assaults against neighbors. But, the people who lived in her four family all moved in after her last episode, so they believed her. And, there is a group home down the street where there are a couple of residents that are unstable enough that they believed her. Sadly, she has talked worse about them than anyone on the street, but they haven't been here long enough to have seen her episodes, so they believed her and one of them got really nasty with me on Christmas Day. So, I found myself understanding what my dad went through to some degree. I will never know what it was like to be an abused child like he was, but I mostly definitely understand how PTSD can develop due to being in an environment where chaos and drama are the norm and you never know what to expect because cause and effect don't take their normal course due to a mental person directing the effect. Coming to that understanding has made me even that much more sad for my dad. He must have felt fear every day of his life wondering when those people were going to punish him again or lead others to punish him again for something he didn't even do. So, I've got the blues today.
I hope you are doing well and that Christmas was not too horrible without your Dad. I hope you and your Mom and the rest of your family had a wonderful Christmas.
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its not the part wear my dads ashes is bured
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my dad has come to me a lot of times in dreams k som of the dreams feal so real i thnk its realy hapend iv had more exprense with balons blank bloons have popet with a big bang and the 1s with leters to my dad burst 1 day i too thm wear my dads ashes is buried i let 7 ballons go all burst i now no its my dad comincting even told me he miss us all merry xmas wish he woz stil hear and to get my mum a present from him last month i cort these foto the hand and somthnk spooky coming out the grave
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Comment by Eliza on December 25, 2012 at 9:52pm
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A few days ago I had a very vivid dream that I was standing in the redwood grove where my mom want's her ashes spread. I didn't see my mom, but I very distinctly hear her voice--as clear as a bell--telling me the precise location in which we should spread her ashes. She was very specific in her description of the precise location. I woke up and wrote it down. It felt so incredibly real, as though she was whispering in my ear. I like to think that it was her, telling me exactly where she wants to be for her eternal resting place.
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