Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
After Death Communication
~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim
co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books
Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.
Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!
We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.
Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:
Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.
Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.
Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.
Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.
Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.
Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.
Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.
ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.
Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.
Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.
Telephone Calls: These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.
Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."
Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.
According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:
"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...
Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...
Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...
I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."
You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.
Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.
Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.
Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.
Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.
Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.
For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."
Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.
Webmaster: Will Guggenheim
Comment
-
Comment by Kristin Renee on October 4, 2013 at 9:10am
-
On the topic of dreams: I had a couple that were unlike any other dreams I'd had before or since my beloved Mom died on May 8th this year. The first one was in the days immediately following her passing. The dream was set in our old home, she was in her old bedroom. Only the room was engulfed in white light and I could only vaguely see the outline of her shoulders and face and nothing else. We were having a conversation I can't recall except that it was about how she died - I think she was telling me that I was wrong about what I thought happened. Incidentally, I did find out later that I was wrong. It was much too soon after losing her to be thinking about an afterlife or heaven; I was in shock with grief and as an agnostic with atheistic notions, I found it strange to be dreaming about that enveloping white light.
The second dream occurred not long after the first. It was in the old house again. I was passing her room when I heard her call my name. This is significant for me because I have never heard my own name in my dreams ever before. No light this time although I didn't see her. I asked her "why?" and she told me she had to go because she wasn't loving herself. I personally never would have phrased it that way. I'd have said that she wasn't taking care of herself (this is not to imply she was responsible for her death, she wasn't). I was then drawn downstairs where I noticed a particular garment that I was wearing, the same that I was actually wearing when I went to bed -another thing that has never happened in my dreams before. Then I saw someone, a kid I knew from high school. His face....it was so vivid it seemed so real. I noted his clothing, a dark blue windbreaker and a blue hat with white lettering. I said to him "you can't be here; you died in a car accident" which is true. He had died only months after graduating in 2002. I hadn't thought about him in years and we weren't close or anything. I can't think of any reason why my mind would randomly conjure him of all people, especially those who I know who've passed on. I later checked his brother's facebook page and saw a photo of him wearing that same blue hat with white lettering - something I'd never seen him wearing in life as we never interacted socially and hats aren't allowed in school. That was it. Nothing else since.
Take that as you will. I don't know what to believe in anymore.
-
Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on October 3, 2013 at 11:22pm
-
Hi everyone! I'm sorry I haven't been on for a while. I posted a message a couple of months ago admitting that I had not been on much due to severe depression and promising that I would get back on soon, and I meant it. But, it did not turn out that way. As I say the following, please be assured that I am not angry at my Mom or Dad who I took care of when they were sick and dying. This is directed at my family and even my husband. Not only did no one help me when I was taking care of my parents, but no one helped me with anything. My family let my parent's house fall apart before I started taking care of them, so that I'm taking care of them while trying to keep up with all of the work to fix the house as well as mowing their acreage and taking care of my own house and yard with no one else doing anything. Now that I am home, this is the first summer I was not a caregiver, and I have spent the whole summer putting the yard back together and making outdoor repairs, because my husband sat on his butt and watched it all fall apart. And, I'd spent the winter putting the house back together, because my husband did nothing while I was gone, When the dishes all got dirty, he started using paper plates and piling them all on top of the dirty dishes in the sink instead of throwing them in the garbage can. We now have roaches even though we've NEVER had roaches. Well, I'm like 80% done with all of this work, so I'm back on. But, I was honestly so busy all summer and since I left that message a couple of months ago that I haven't been able to get on until now.
I'm writing tonight, because I had a dream last night that I want to talk about. I had a dream the night after my Mom died in which she came to me wearing the dress she had worn when I took her to the hospital for the last time - a blue and white gingham dress - but in the dream it was clean instead of having vomit all over it. She was laying on the blue couch we had as a kid. And, her stomach had been very swollen before she died, and it was flat again. She sat up on the couch and looked at me and said, "I'm feeling much better now" and then I woke up.Every dream since then she has usually been walking around with me following her and begging her to go to the doctor and she is telling me she is not sick and I'm being very surprised that she is still alive even though the doctors told her she would die, and I'm trying to find reasons why she is still alive when the doctors said she would die. This has been a recurring theme in every dream I've had since she died. Usually, she is walking around, often there are other people around us, and I'm begging her to go to the doctor and she is telling me she is not sick and I'm surprised that she lived when the doctors said she wouldn't. That has been most of the dreams. In one dream she was working, and there were big machines that she was working with - big silver metal machines - but I'm not sure what she was doing. It seemed to be a job. But, it was the same thing of me begging her to go to the doctor, her telling me she doesn't need to, and me being surprised that she is still alive when the doctors said she wouldn't be.
Well, I had a similar dream last night. Only in this dream she was in a very expensive apartment like a rich person would live in, which was interesting, because she lived in poverty all of her life. It was her, but she was dressed very nicely and sitting on a couch. I remember there were two mannequins for decorations that had gray and white striped tank tops on them with long pearls hanging from their necks - one was tall and one was shorter. And, at one point someone came looking for us and I walked to the end of a counter that had doors open at the top of it and looked into a pristine chrome kitchen and said, "We're in here." My mom was lounging back on a couch. Everything was white and silver and pristine - the opposite of what she'd had in this life. If she has such riches now, I'd be very happy for her, because she had so little in life.
Well, the thing about all of these dreams is that she and I were very very close, but she seems very aloof in these dreams. She does not really connect with me but just answers my questions very blandly - in previous dreams telling me that she doesn't need to go to the doctor, becasue she is not sick. In this dream, I was concerned for her diagnosis and asked her how she was feeling, and she answered that she was fine now that she gave up salmon. I asked her if that was all she needed to do to feel better, and she said, "And bananas". Up to that point, she seemed very distant - unlike anything we had in real life.But, one thing that was different in this dream is that toward the end of the dream (maybe because I accepted that salmon and bananas was all that had made her sick), she got very warm and came over to the couch opposite her and was very warm like herself in life and said, "I have to go through those magazines I told you I'd go through" and she started to go through magazines at the end of the couch. I like to draw - just for fun - and she used to save me calendars, so I could draw from the pictures. Maybe that was the reason she was saving magazines for me.
Then, I woke up. And, when I woke up, I literally felt like I'd been with her and when I woke up I had to realize she was not with me any more, and my grief was almost as fresh as the day I lost her, and I just started to cry. I felt the loss so intensely.
I remember that happened one other time - she and I made plans in the dream to go shopping the next Saturday like we always did, and I woke up so excited that I was going to see her and we were going to go shopping. Then, I realized she was gone and we weren't going to go shopping, and the grief was instantly back almost as bad as when I first lost her - and I started crying and crying.
But, in both of those cases it felt like I could feel her. I miss her so much, and I don't feel alive most of the time any more. But, when I get those brief moments where I feel her, I remember what it was like to feel alive before. She was the main person who brought joy and meaning to my life, and now I just feel numb except for those few times when I wake up after these dreams and can feel her. It is like we were soul mates or something and I'm not complete without her.
Thanks for listening.
-
Comment by dream moon JO B on October 3, 2013 at 3:53pm
-
no but it hapend wn i woz on xbox i switchet off but controls thng lit up on its own green lite on x prt i nevr evn tuched it
maby my dad wz playng 1 of his joks on me
i no he wzalwayz playn prnks on me mum or ayng fuuny thngs
it cud be yore hubsand melllisa it cud be
sisn my dad died 2 mny weid strnge thngs hav hapend
-
-
Has anyone experienced this? My daughter and I were sitting at kitchen table talking. All of a sudden a light came crashing through the window. It reminds me of how tv shows, show the speed of light. (like flash gordon) There was a noise with the light but I can't describe it. I tried to play it off but my daughter said mom did you see that. I was like ya. I knew it was my husband. I told my daughter but she is in denial that it could be him.
-
-
i hrd it again 2 day 1 of my dads fav sings imangin by j lennon i did i no my dad lket ths slong he did it 1 woz of hs favrts it woz
he loved ths song he did he loved a lot of balled songs he did
-
-
i sm tms hav a sens abot peple 2 marylun i no sertn peple i meat thr som thng i cnt trust abot thm som tms im rht not alll t tm
cats well my cats frm rescue senter she is evn if im in st i seam 2 get follord by cats or dogs i do i got tld thy no im a softie wen it cums to pets i am
ps
i dnt thnk u r a weid i thnk u r a very carng person it luvs yore kids u r
-
-
thnx marylin im 38 ill be 39 in nov i will be
i dnt relize i wz a bit sycick till 1 or 2 pepel pont ot 2 me ths yr iv allwayz had sprit peak 2 me iv only had famly cum thru or petss of famly cum thru
thy tryd 2 tell me abot my dads deth lst yr it wz gong 2 happpn but i dnt wont 2 lson imean no 1 wont sss 2 hear abot lovd 1s dyng thy dnt
thy allwayz seam 2 cum thr at t wong tms thy do
i no wen i fell ovr in feb i agrivt my frozen sholdr evn mr but i flt my dads d me i did evn my leg iv did a lot of tiue damge 2 my rht nea now t pain is actng up now
i get tld 2 loze wait by drs marylin thy say im obease but thy 1s it giv me sterids wen i get ths chest infesxins
thy tell me 2 get flu shot but im not grt wit neadls i am not coz of a esprense i had my slf wen i got admit 2 hoptl thy say its lk getng blood ot of a stone on me
i al wayz try 2 thn of othrs its way i woz brot up
mum dad had me lt in lf thy did im my dads only blood but i hav a hrf oldr sis hrf bro
-
-
iv sean stuf so mny tms maryln i try 2 tell pelpl but thnk im a mad nut kase thy do least on hear i can telll peple wi out woryng abot bean put away 4 lif i do
it usd 2 happen wen i wz a kid i cud sea stuff but wen i woz a kid it woz ok i supose its wen i got oldr pepl cud hear me speakng 2 my slf t woz acsly som of t sprits i wz speakng 2 sum of thm i didn evn no
i no evry can by sykic 2 sum point if thr is no noiz thy seam2 speak 2 evry 1 thy do
i no abot lites bean tund oofff marylin i turn thm off befor i go 2 bed evn tv th s 1 gets up thng iv lft th tv on or lites on i no i hav not dun it
i say we mite hac a gost but all i get tld thrs no sush thng as goast i no thr is goasts
iv evn herd of drs bean scard of thm
i bleve u abot stuff in t kitchn 2 marylin wen my dad woz aliv ths thngs cum flyng off kitchn bench lk onions stuff thy wear throw on t flor
-
Comment by joy bell on September 12, 2013 at 8:30pm
-
The book is so good! I'm going to pass it on. I just joined a grief group on Tuesday and I feel like I belong there, although it was hard to hold back the tears the entire time. My boyfriend gave me a message for his daughter's wedding-- a whole song for her! I feel like it is unbelievable, but I know he did!
-
-
hi marylin iv alwayz dremt stuf sum of it cums true but sprits always sean thm um tms i sae thm at wong tms i do lk wakes it happend onse at awake it did
iv beantld if im not crful by sm offamly ill be put away 4 life coz its al in my mnd it is but i no its not
its lk ths pic i tk it lks lk a goast in sky it duze
i no i mt sond lk a krazy mad nut kase i do
Groups
-
Being the Other Woman/Ot…
45 members
-
Loss of a loved one to a…
3 members
-
Grief Counseling
141 members
-
Sibling Loss
10 members
-
Losing My Sister
5 members
-
Losing a Sister
94 members
-
Funeral Service
2 members
-
I miss my Mom!
751 members
-
LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITE…
15 members
-
Loss of a child In memor…
29 members
-
Too Young To Die
17 members
-
Multiple Losses Group
324 members
-
Zoom Grief Support
39 members
-
Orphaned Adults
80 members
-
Sole Survivors
15 members
Latest Activity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
"is griefshare a website like this?"
"Kali
I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal.
Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
© 2024 Created by Ninja.
Powered by
You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!
Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community