Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim
co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books
Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.
Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!
We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.
Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:
Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.
Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.
Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.
Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.
Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.
Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.
Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.
ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.
Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.
Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.
Telephone Calls: These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.
Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."
Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.
According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:
"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...
Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...
Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...
I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."
You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.
Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.
Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.
Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.
Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.
Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.
For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."
Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.
Webmaster: Will Guggenheim
Comment
Storyas - As time goes by, I have fewer signs, too. Of course, every time I see a magnificent sunset I talk to my brother about it. He used to go to the lake to watch the sunset and take pictures. When he died, I changed his mailing address to my house because I took care of all of his business and didn't want to miss anything. That was over 3 years ago. A few months back, just before his birthday, I got an advertisement addressed to him. It was for a jacket with an American eagle and flag on the back. My bro. was extremely patriotic and loved the eagle. We even have an eagle on his grave marker. When I took the ad from my mailbox, I immediately thought he was letting me know he's still looking after me. There are people who say it's a coincidence. I say that they can't prove it's not from him, and thinking that it is gives me comfort.
Violet - I think it is him. My dad used to call me on the phone all the time. He doesn't call me so much any more.
Gramackie - thank you for the beautiful picture. Your pennies from heaven story - that is another thing that happened right after my parents died. I would find money all the time and find it in ways that I knew it was from them. When it was pennies, I knew it was from my Mom, because my Mom always picked up a penny for good luck when she saw them laying on the ground. And, when it was dollars, I knew it was from my Dad, because we had a flea market business together and once a week split the dollars up and he would roll up the change and save it for a rainy day. Also, it was in weird places. I can't tell you how many times I came back to my car to find a dollar laying right outside my car door so that I would see it as I got in the car - always in the same place. I could not bring myself to spend it, so I put it in my glove compartment and around the time I stopped getting money like that and stopped having so many visits from them, the money disappeared. My car wasn't broken into. Nothing else was missing. I didn't spend it. It was just gone one day. Now, I don't find money any more, and I don't get phone calls from my Dad any more either. I guess they only stay in touch with us for a while, but i"m not sure why. Other than the occasional dream, I don't have stuff like that happen so much any more like it did for a few months after they died.
Dan had a alarm on his cell phone to remind himself to call me when we were rarely apart.. in the last couple yrs before he died. it still goes off.. but I realized the other day that it doesnt go off every night. I think he is only letting it go off when he wants it too. I know hes around alot he touched me the other night, I think..it was so nice. I miss him so much. the aniversary of his cod is oct 12..he died 4 months later.
Oh, my uncle died 1 year and 1 weeks after my brother. His daughter (my cousin) gets pennies from heaven. Like she found one at his grave. She's found them in places around her house which her daddy helped them build. The pennies are always heads up.
I had just read the recent posts when I came across this picture on my Facebook page and wanted to share it with you. I truly believe because since I lost my brother and my daddy within 8 weeks of each other, I have been comforted in many ways at different times. It's usually from my brother. I have 2 thoughts about why. The first is because I didn't get to say good-bye to him. He died from a seizure alone in his apartment. I was with my daddy at the hospital when he had a seizure and went into a coma for 3 days before he died. So, I was by his side. The other is because my daddy was always more reserved.
Jo B - I loved your post for many reasons. One is that most people say they are coming to let us know they are alright, but maybe they are so alright that they don't even think that we will be worrying about that and they do just come back to make sure we don't forget them - but we could never forget them. Also, I believe that Jesus was at the end of your bed - I saw Jesus like that once. It was in a dangerous situation like you were in the storm - I grew up in a violent neighborhood and there was violence around me - and I looked up and saw Jesus and he just winked at me and disappeared and every cell in my body knew I was going to be alright. That changed and impacted me for the rest of my life - I think I'm a more open and compassionate person after that than I was before that. And, I love the way you describe birds wings as angel wings. I never saw birds that way before. I've never been much of a bird person - don't get me wrong, I love to look at them in the wild - but I've never been drawn to birds enough to have them for pets or anything like that. I will look at them completely differently now. That is such a beautiful way of seeing them. Also, after my nephew Nicholas died - I had something fall off the wall. I don't feel him any more, but I used to feel him around back then. Well, I had this collection of ceramic cats that he used to love to play with. I had them on top of a cabinet. One day I was sitting at my computer typing a short story I was writing about him, and while I was writing that the cabinet fell off the wall. I jumped up and ran in the kitchen. The cabinet was on the floor and the cats that had been on it that he used to play with were all in a circle looking at each other they way they used to be when he would play with them, and not one of them was broken from the fall. And, you know - I don't even know what happened to those cats now. I think I boxed them up and mailed them to his mom after that. I'm pretty sure that is what happened. Also, I love your photography. Like I've told you many times - my pictures usually look flat. Your pictures are very good - not flat at all but very real looking. I love your pictures. Thank you for sharing the bird and ocean picture you shared.
Melissa D - I know how you feel. I did not stay with my Dad the last night he was alive even though he wanted me to. I have a really severe kind of hypoglycemia, and I needed to go take care of myself even though he was scared and wanted me to stay. He died a couple of hours later. That was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I know how hard it is to get over that. I hope that one day we can both forgive ourselves, because my bet is they have already forgiven us a long time ago - like the minute they passed over most likely.
Kristin - maybe this young man was coming to you to tell you that since he has been on the other side longer that he is looking after your Mom and making sure she is okay. That happened to me once when a nephew of mine passed away - my uncle passed away a few years later and came to me to let me know that he was looking after Nicholas (my nephew) for me on the other side.
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