Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim
co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books
Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.
Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!
We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.
Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:
Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.
Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.
Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.
Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.
Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.
Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.
Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.
ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.
Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.
Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.
Telephone Calls: These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.
Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."
Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.
According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:
"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...
Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...
Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...
I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."
You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.
Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.
Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.
Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.
Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.
Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.
For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."
Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.
Webmaster: Will Guggenheim
Comment
iv got thes batry oprte canls 1 trns it slf on by it slf it duz
lk u dollly it wz off wen i lft wen i got in hose agan it wz on by it slf
Wow Sam... so awesome.. and also Pearl.. at first after my son died I had all sorts of experiences that defied explanation but now going on 5 years later they seem to have stopped pretty much.. I never had such a personal experience like you two describe but have had music and lights turn on with no explanation and certain aromas just come out of nowhere and then disappear.. I do believe that somehow God allows us to be reassured when we're separated .. and I hold every one of those experiences very dear.. my greatest hope is that we'll all be together one day again and the experiences have helped me believe that this is TRUE...I posted a picture of the light that went on at our mountain house .. we don't have power there except solar panels.. and we only go there for rest about once a week...we live in town...this light was operated by a switch.. I know it was off when we left the house and when we came back a week later it was on... I was so amazed that I asked God to turn it on again for us if it was really a sign from Him or our son that he was OK and with God... and the very next time we came back to the house it was on AGAIN .. and ever since then it has NOT worked... so yes I believe...
God Bless you, Pearl.
i seam 2 getin feths all tim i do nw sum tims big 1s i get
Crystal, I can't say that my Christian beliefs make things any easier. I do take solace in knowing that she is in heaven, but the finality of my mom's death is just as real for me. There is no way around it. It hurts terribly. About a minute before my mom died, she opened her eyes wide. She sat up in bed and was staring at the ceiling. She reached over her head like she was taking someone's hand. She then laid back and died. It was amazing. I still cried my eyes out when I realized that she was gone.
You can drive yourself crazy looking for signs. There is nothing in the world that is wrong with wanting a sign. We all want one. I still pray about it so often. I have not received one. Still, I take solace in the one million plus times my mom told me that she loved me.
My experience was different than yours in that I knew that my mom was going to die. But I still had those feelings that you described. Sometimes it would hit me like a brick, like I had almost forgotten that mom was going to die. We would be laughing and watching TV, and then suddenly it would hit me. My mom was going to die. Trying to imagine how I would live my life without her was an hourly event. And it has been every bit as hard as I feared it would be. Maybe even worse. Nothing in this world can prepare you for that final breath.
Lastly, I could tell you this until I was blue in the face, but it would not do any good. Do not beat yourself up about that trip. You didn't know that your mom was dying. Look at it this way. Every time I left the house to go out with my friends (when I was young), my mom would worry that something was going to happen to me. She would imagine a car wreck or a drunk driver. Still, she had to let me live my life. I had to let her live hers. We can all look back on things that we wish that we had done. There are so many things that I would have done differently. I keep wishing that God would grant me a do-over. I know that's not going to happen. But my mom KNEW that I loved her with all of my heart. I can promise you that your mom knew the same about you.
Lean on the love that you and your mother had and still have.
Anyone felt like the universe was giving signs that your loved one was gonna leave the earth soon? The three months before my mom passed away were really weird. I had moved out a year ago but I was living one block away from her. I would be with her and suddenly the thought of her passing would pop into my head and I would think about how I would survive without her in my life. Its like my subconscious felt something was wrong because I would go to her house almost everyday after work (which was new) and she also would call more than usual to check up on me. I felt expelled to record her sometimes for idk what reason its like something was telling me, "soon you wont be seeing her so you should record this very moment."
I had left in June, a month before she died on a 3 week trip to New Zealand, and on the day I left to the airport I cried after saying goodbye, which I would never do when I went on trips. I felt hesitant about leaving her but I didn't listen to my instincts. I kill myself for taking this trip cause in those three weeks was when she was hospitalized and later died 5 days after I got back.
I've been waiting to experience signs from her but I haven't or maybe I have and haven't realized it, but I always ask for clear signs because I'm a bit of a skeptic when it comes to supernatural things.
I wish I believed in Heaven and God (I believe in a higher power, just don't know what that is) cause then dealing with her death would be easier. I ask for a sign everyday that she's at peace and happy but that hasn't happened to date.
I know what you mean Olivia... even though I loved every thing that happened that seemed to be somehow connected to my son ... things going on and off.. music playing and then disappearing... they also made me feel the loss of him so much it was like a double sided blessing... I longed for them but they hurt so much...
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