Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim
co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books
Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.
Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!
We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.
Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:
Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.
Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.
Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.
Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.
Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.
Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.
Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.
ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.
Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.
Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.
Telephone Calls: These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.
Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."
Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.
According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:
"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...
Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...
Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...
I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."
You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.
Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.
Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.
Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.
Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.
Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.
For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."
Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.
Webmaster: Will Guggenheim
Comment
LAURIE that article just reinforces how close our loved ones are.... it always lifts my heart to hear theses wonderful things.... thanks for sharing...
LAURIE.... what an amazing experience...or actually experiences.... we have also had two more amazing things happen .. a week ago we were on the mountain playing music and I noticed a brilliant swatch of rainbow shining on the wall of the kitchen next to where we were playing.. I traced it to a crystal in the kitchen window over the sink.. the colors were exquisite and some of you know about my history of seeing rainbows after Brandon died.. two FIRE rainbows which I didn't even know existed before I saw TWO on two different occasions the year after Brandon died... I know the kitchen rainbow was the sun shining through the crystal.. BUT that crystal has been lying in that window for probably 30 years and I have NEVER seen a rainbow like this one come through it.. in fact I don't remember ANY rainbows coming from it once it fell from the string it was hanging from... before that when it was hanging, it would send little bits of swirling rainbows around but never anything like this last time... it made me think again of Brandon being there for the music...or IN the music... with all of heaven.... singing an dancing in the trees, sending us rainbows.... does it help? I think it does... I do..
the other amazing thing happened a few days later when we were back up on the mountain again .. right at the spot where I saw the mama deer and her fawn a few months ago I saw something flit by ... I looked out the door and there were at least FOUR red crested woodpeckers sitting on logs and/or the ground eating I guess... I have only seen ONE woodpecker in all the years we have owned this place and THAT was also after Brandon died... this time they even sat and preened and cleaned each other off ... let us take many flash pictures of them.. but they were bad pics because we didn't dare open the door and had to shoot through the screen... I will put one in here if any come out ok after I fix them up some... what a sight it was... just amazing things have happened around us since Brandon died... I feel like God is telling us that Brandon is all around us always in some way.... and sends these creatures and wonders to remind us of the power God has and the eternal LIFE we all have....
Handprint from Heaven
Afterdeath Communication Story Posted on Guidepost
Heavenly Signs of Assurance
In a story Janis Heaphy Durham wrote for the August/September 2015 issue of Mysterious Ways, she reveals a promise that her husband, Max, made to her shortly before he died of esophageal cancer. Max assured her that, after his passing, he would send her a sign that he was still with her, that there was an afterlife.
My husband, Max, died at 12:44 p.m. on a sunny Saturday in May, surrounded by friends and family in the living room of our Sacramento home. His last breaths were labored. He lay on a narrow hospital bed, his emaciated body propped up to face the patio doors so he could feel the warmth of the sun.
I held his hand gently—gently because it felt like all bone, not the hand that had held mine with such strength for the past five years—and read from the Twenty-third Psalm. “He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters....”
A lovely melody suffused the room. Tones so resonant and deep, they could have been coming from one of Max’s classical CDs. I turned and saw the heavy wind chimes over the patio swaying. But the air was still. Not a breath of wind at all. There was no breath from Max either. His hand fell from mine. He was gone.
In late November, Max had received the diagnosis: esophageal cancer, late stage. He didn’t want to die in a hospital. We’d made him as comfortable as we could at home.
We’d sit overlooking our yard and talk. About Tanner, my son from my first marriage, whom Max treated as his own. About music, good food and wine, philosophy—his passions. About the trips we’d taken, like the one to Auberge du Soleil, a resort in Napa Valley, where he’d first told me he loved me. These things were easier to talk about than the future.
I was 53. I’d thought we’d grow old together. Now? “It’s easier for me,” Max said one day. “It will be harder for you because you are being left behind.”
“I don’t know what I’ll do,” I said.
“I will still be here,” he insisted. “My love will never die. It’s immutable.”
What did Max mean? He’d never talked like that. I was the daughter of a Presbyterian minister, but Max was an agnostic. The Twenty-third Psalm was music to him, not Scripture. The idea that anything but a memory of someone could survive death didn’t appeal to his sense of reason.
I couldn’t fault him for it. His intellectual rigor was one thing that had attracted me to him.
I’d met Max in 1999, a year and a half after I’d moved to Sacramento to become the publisher of the Sacramento Bee, one of California’s largest and most respected newspapers. I was divorced, with a nine-year-old son. I didn’t have time for love.
Then Max invited me to a meet-and-greet event held by the political-consulting firm he worked for. I declined—obvious conflict of interest for the newspaper— but agreed to a friendly lunch.
He was a true Renaissance man: an Air Force vet, a mathematician, an accomplished chef, a former college weight lifter. He played trumpet and piano and had even written his own symphony. He read at least a book a week. He astonished me.
In his final months, Max spent a great deal of time with our friend and his caretaker, Helen. He’d insisted that I continue working, so Helen was there when I couldn’t be.
One day she revealed the strangest thing. The two of them were in the kitchen when there was a brief sun shower. “We both stopped and looked,” Helen said. “I told him, ‘I know you don’t believe in God, but this is something God created for us today. If you can find a way, let us know that there’s something out there, that it doesn’t just end.’”
“I will,” Max said. “But it will be up to you two to see it.”
Max said that? I believed in heaven, as my father had understood it, a faraway place filled with love. Max never did. But the nearer death drew, the more cautiously open he became to the notion that there could be more, as if a force stronger than his reason were reaching through to him. He spoke with less certainty about the end. The day before he died, weak and fading, he asked for directions. “Where, Max?” I asked, confused. “To the place I’m going,” he explained.
The afternoon Max died, some friends took Tanner. I waited for the funeral-home staff. I retreated to the master bedroom to try to compose myself. I flipped on the light, but the bulb above the sink had burned out. “I thought these things were supposed to last forever,” I grumbled.
We held Max’s funeral at a church in downtown Sacramento. A friend conducted the service, and people filled the pews. Tanner and the other pallbearers carried Max’s coffin to the front of the sanctuary. I was set to follow behind with my brother and sister-in-law. Will I make it through this? I wondered. Will I fall apart?
Suddenly a sound boomed through the sanctuary. A heavy door to an anteroom had slammed shut. No one was near it. It shocked me out of the downward spiral I was in.
Only back home did I think about the music of the chimes on that windless afternoon. The burned-out bulb. The slamming door. What was going on? The newspaperwoman in me said, “Nothing at all.” A flying bird could have brushed the chimes. We hadn’t changed the bathroom bulb since we’d moved in. A draft in the church could be strong enough to slam the heavy door. Max was logical to a fault. He’d guffaw at “signs” like these.
It was grief that made me notice more little things. Lights flickering when it wasn’t even stormy. Noises coming from the guest bedroom, where Max had slept for most of the last month. One morning, I returned home after taking our yellow Lab for a walk, and glanced up at the large clock over our fireplace. It should have read eight o’clock. Instead, the hands had stopped—at 12:44.
Father’s Day. Tanner was with his dad. I was home alone, listening to Celine Dion’s “Because You Loved Me,” the song we’d played at Max’s funeral. I felt agitated. I wandered into the library, full of Max’s books. I randomly pulled one from the shelf. An envelope fell to the floor. On the front was a woman’s handwriting. It was a card from Max’s mother, from Father’s Day the year before. “I’ve never seen you this happy in your life,” she’d written. “It’s because you have a family.”
I could explain any one of these things, but all of them together? I decided to keep a list of every odd incident, weird feeling and comforting coincidence. Maybe if I saw everything on paper, I’d begin to make sense of it.
I gave away most of Max’s possessions, because that was what he wanted, but it felt like giving away parts of him. His albums and books I donated to the library. His clothes and shoes I gave to Goodwill, saving a few favorite ties and shirts for Tanner. The least important things were the hardest to deal with. His round tortoiseshell glasses, his worn black leather wallet, a tiny hairbrush that he used every morning. They seemed to bear his imprint, his touch. I was beginning to forget what it felt like back when his hands were still strong, when he held mine in his.
Tanner and I didn’t plan anything for the first anniversary of Max’s death. Just a quiet day at home. We sat at a table in the backyard; I caught up on work, Tanner read a book. After a while I went inside to make us a snack. On the way to the kitchen, I paused at the doorway of the guest-bedroom suite. Something drew me inside. I turned toward the bathroom and flipped on the light.
On the mirror was a handprint.
It was no ordinary handprint. Not something revealed by the steam of a shower or left behind by someone’s greasy fingers. It was made of a soft, powdery substance and perfectly formed: I could see every fingerprint, every crease, the life line and love line. It showed all the facets of bone structure, like an X-ray. I’d combed my hair in front of that mirror just hours before. The hand hadn’t been there.
I shouted for Tanner. He came running. “What’s wrong, Mom?” He saw it too. It wasn’t just my imagination.
“You didn’t do this, did you?” I asked.
“No,” he said. He held his hand up to the mirror, so small in comparison. “Where did it come from?”
I didn’t have an answer, any reasonable explanation. But I knew whose hand it was. The same hand I’d held a year earlier, except this was the way I preferred to remember it. The hand that had once pressed the keys of a piano and thumbed through the books in our library. Max’s hand.
I got my camera and took a picture, afraid the image would fade. But it didn’t. It remained until that Wednesday, when Helen came to clean the house. “Do you want me to leave it there?” she asked, astounded.
I did, but it was time to say goodbye. Max had already given me enough to hold on to. Just as he’d promised—if only we were willing to see.
Link to the photos of the signs, including handprint:
2 day a samml fethr fell on me it did so iv ketp it i did
I read a book where the girl collected feathers she found and put them in a little pouch she made and wore it around her neck... sounds like an idea.. its as if the angels are shedding feathers for you.... or dad is plucking them out and tossing them to you... I bet the angels don't mind !!
iv juts kpt thm dolly its grt 2 fined thm it is
I think I'm going to make something like that to hang in my own window.. I don't find feathers about... not YET anyway... but I think I'll start looking around and thinking about what I could put into a little hanging for my window.. things that would remind me of Brandon and others I have lost... and some pretty bling to make it sparkle and catch the sunlight and the moonlight and the light from heaven... yep I'm going to do that...
do you make the feathers into anything? like maybe a mobile with bells or chimes ? I think it would be wonderful to do that and hang it in the window... maybe with crystals too so little rainbows would sprinkle over the room as the feathers flew about and the little chimes sang... like when the chimes sounded it would be like a little hello from heaven each time.... all things are possible with God so why NOT??
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