"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
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A Breath At A Time...
Many say to take grieving a day at a time...but it is really a breath at at time...as we carry grief with us in every breath we draw in.
I have found since the loss of my beautiful mother that I have to think about doing things...instead of just doing them...and this is because I don't really want to do anything...I just want to see my Mum again...hear her voice again...hug her again...talk to her again...and try to come to terms with the fact that she is no longer here. It has only been 13 weeks...yet it seems like yesterday...and it also seems like so long ago.
Since Mum passed there has been many spiritual signs...and they are all of great comfort to me...yet there is always a void deep inside...and we stay in that void trying to find a way to fill it...with anything we can...but nothing can or ever really will.
Life starts slow...then comes at you fast and suddenly you are in a change that you never saw coming and everything changes...and nothing will ever be the same again.
Mum was cremated at her request...as was Dad. We did not know what to do with her ashes...and then we decided to take her remains to join that of our Dad's...on their wedding anniversary...like bringing his bride to him after a long time apart. All went well on this day and we were pleased that her remains were finally at rest...returned to her husband and back to the earth...and it does give us a place to go and focus, and to be with her for a little while...and there is comfort in that.
Later on....we took some little ornaments to place around her...nothing intrusive or eye catching...just little things so that where her remains lay did not look barren and unkempt...as the flowers and flower petals we place over and around her blow away or wither and die. We learn as we go along don't we...well the crematorium staff do not like 'things' being left...and one day I went up to be with Mum and they were all gone...so I pursued the matter and found the staff had removed them even though they had not been there for long, and despite the fact that there are no public signs indicating this is not allowed. I eventually got one of the items back...which I found suspicious as why would one be found and not the three together. I was told that such items are thrown out...and that the other two items I had lovingly bought and placed had probably been tossed into a builder's skip which is presently there due to renovations. Imagine the insensitivity of that! The staff not even keeping items for a period of time...such items lovingly selected at a time of grief...and then they are removed and tossed away by the very people who you feel maintain and protect the area...yet not all three were tossed...so why was one kept...and then it magically reappeared due to my questioning this? This remains the unanswered question.
I do know that all that we shared will never die...and that there is a time for everything.
Loneliness gets to everyone at some time...and losing someone reminds us of our own limited time to walk this earth.
As I have shared before...always have something to do...someone to love...and something to look forward to.
United in Life...as we all need a little help.
My best, Rhona.
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Comment
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Comment by Rhona on December 1, 2013 at 4:12pm
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It is very difficult to deal with the loss of one loved one Jo...my heart goes out to you...and you are so right...baby steps...and yes a breath at a time...and all we can do to honour them by doing our best each day too.
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Comment by dream moon JO B on December 1, 2013 at 3:57pm
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i try 2 rhona its all we can do its lk baby steps my mum darnet lk it death notise but wn she doses itss allwayz s 1 she nose or its famly we hav not sean 4 a few yrs or mre or so on its allwayz on my dads siee coz his famly is big
sad thng is i only sea most of thm it funrells or wn thy fone latly its allwayz bean bad news but famly closee by ty hav all nealy past on tht horbell wrd i no my mum wnt 2 sea 1 or 2 of thm but i cud not do it coz of ths gobia lk u saed 1 breathh at a tim
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JO B...that is hard...I am so sorry...and I can understand emotions running high...and not being understood can lead to such misunderstandings especially with so much so soon...and of course it will affect you greatly and will be too much to come to terms with at once...just take a breath at a time...you are doing better than you think.
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its ok rhona afterr my dad diedd i dnt exspexy 2 othrs pass aftr him wot mde it hrd a lot of thm died on sme ward he did
i no t day befre he died i nealy git my slf arestedd nealy a crimlme record coz i compland 2 mush coz th nurse wear dong nothng but gopsng bena rasit 2 nurse it wear getng thr handss dirty
it least if my cuzen it is a nurse it gers her habds dirty i wudnt fewela as bad ths
aftr my dad died it lft me with pstd a fobia of hosptles wear i cnt even set ft in
it least in uk e hav thm wk inn plases wen i hrt my leg i wentt 2 thr coz i cud not fase tht plase it lft my tramtised it did not jst me my surgatee uncless dorter it did it 2 her 2 coz he diedo sme ward lst yr evn othr famly mebers wish for me is 2 painfil 2 speak abot it mde iot wors coz i cud nto go 2 sea thm coz of ths fobia
jo
ps ths fobia has not jst torchrd me u will hear storys on hear th sme thng has hapend 2 a lot of pele
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Jo...thank you for sharing with me, and I am so sorry about you losing your dad.
I don't think we ever stop hurting over losing a loved one...we just learn to manage it better...and through time there comes acceptance of the change this loss has brought to our lives as it is the only way we can cope with the void they leave when they go.
Please do be comforted by what you are aware of or see...and many people do not understand such sightings as they are afraid of what they do not understand. I know you have seen your dad, and these things are happening as this is how they communicate with us, and it takes a great effort for them to do so...as they have to lower their vibration to affect ours.
Just know that he is around you and your Mum as he does not want you hurting, and is trying to reassure you that he is safely home now, and he wants you and your Mum to continue to feel your lives to the full as this is really the best way of honouring those who pass on.
I hope this has helped a little...our soul always recognises the truth as it resonates with us...as though we have always known it yet we just needed to hear it too.
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i lost my dad lst yr its lft me my mum so sad tht he haz gon i still thng he is abot coz he wz alwayz sush a joker wen he wz alivee coz he wud hid thngs i thnk he is still dong it coz thngs disaper for a few dayss thn trn up in a difrnt plase we hav put thm
sm tms i go in 2 a room in house i feal lk i can sea him sitng thr ot standing it window i do iv tryd 2 tell ple but thng im makng up or seang thngs its not thr
all i get tld my imaging is 2 over active mamby it is
all i no it will never stop hrtng
jo
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