Evening again, and again feeling relatively calm, still sad, just calm. 

I was listening to Howard Stern interviewing Robert Downy Jr. this morning.  Robert was talking about how people come into and out of our lives, it struck a cord.  

I need to learn to control my thoughts better, the reality I have created in my head is not a good place to have to dwell.  Too much worrying.

I know I can get through this, I know I have worth, I know the world is not a dark place, I know I will again honestly feel that.....

"LIFE IS GOOD AND WORTH LIVING"

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Comment by Valerie on April 28, 2015 at 6:51pm

Hi Mark,

You know today was an okay day for me. I still teared up several times as usual, but I think it had to do a lot with, I was so exhausted last night that I actually fell asleep.


I think nights are sometimes easier for me because I'm not "alone in the world". Does that make sense. I'm in my home, which by the way has Mike's (My husband's) stuff everywhere in it. I wonder if that's why I feel somewhat safe and calm at home, I'm not sure.

You are right though, we do have worth, and we will feel almost ourselves again. We will always be sad that we lost our spouse. But, we must find a way to March on, I know that is what my husband would want to do. And, I know it is A LOT easier said that done. But, since I got a little sleep I feel better. Did you go back to work yet. When you do, just know people will react one of a couple different ways. They will just come right out and tell you how sorry they are that you lost your spouse, or they will not say anything, or they may just give you a hug.

People don't really know how to act. They don't like to see people sad and they usually think you should be feeling better than you do. Or, they think you are okay....

You might spend some time having to leave work at lunch and get away. It is very emotional. Something about losing your spouse makes you lose your confidence. I guess because you were a team and now you are alone.

Well, hope you have a good night, Mark.

Wishing you calm and peace.

Valerie

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