12 weeks yet feels like only yesteray

12 Weeks.. 12. Yet it still feels only yesterday i held my Dads hand and watched him slip away. What i would give to have the time back with him again. 12 will always stick in my memory.. 12 days my beautiful Father fought to stay with us, but he was given 12 weeks not 12 days :c My brother keeps saying 12 days just wasn't long enough. It wasn't. but 12 years wouldn't have been long enough either.

I wont ever forget that feeling the morning he left us.. The feeling that we had all done a 'night shift' and our work was over after we left his flat. It was never a 'shift' it was a privilege an honour to give him his final wishes, to pass at home with his family. 

People keep telling me this gets easier in time.. I'm struggling to believe this. It seems to be getting harder. Each hurdle. His birthday, having to visit a stone, and not him at home :c Next will be christmas..

Walking past his flat, watching everything about him dissapear, the wait on somebody new moving in to what was his home for over 20 years :c 

I know he's out of pain now. And i couldn't have been any more prouder of him the fight he gave just so he could see fathers day through with us all.

I love you Dad. 

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It was not supposed to be like this

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