Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim
co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books
Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.
Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!
We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.
Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:
Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.
Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.
Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.
Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.
Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.
Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.
Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.
ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.
Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.
Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.
Telephone Calls: These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.
Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."
Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.
According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:
"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...
Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...
Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...
I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."
You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.
Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.
Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.
Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.
Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.
Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.
For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."
Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.
Webmaster: Will Guggenheim
Comment
it happend agane wen i went to the semtery to check on my mums mum and dads grave and my great uncle h grave i wote aner letter on a ballon to my dad but just as i woz abot to let go it burst in my hand and i saw a bird on my cuzens husbands grave but tht flew away then wen i got home the ldoor woz nocking 3 times i went and nobody woz there and i had another 1 of thm strange dreams last nite were my dad warket in to the living room said sea u later to my cuzen and told her evry thngs gona be ok i no it the minit she going thru a lot of sh@t she is then sat on the sofa looket at me and mum and stared watching tv but the dream felt so real i no it wozen real but it felt real
jb - I responded to yesterday's post here as an email to you from my friends board, because when I tried to respond here yesterday each time I hit Add Comment, it would not add. It was locked up in this screen for some reason, but I could send it from my friends board. Not sure why that was. It sounds like you have a good priest. He is right. We all make mistakes. And, I can see that so clearly when I look at other people. They can tell me mistakes they made, and I think, "God still loves you and forgives you." But, when I make a mistake, especially the mistakes I made with my parents now that they are gone, I think I'm unforgivable. I don't know why that is - probably some aspect of grief. But, the priest at my Parish always tells me and tells me and tells me that God forgave me a long time ago and I need to forgive myself. And, he is so patient - he never gets upset with me for it not sinking in, so I guess God is even more patient than that, so I guess I am forgiven. I hope my parents forgive me for my mistakes too, but I'm sure they do as I'd forgive them anything, and I'm sure they feel the same way.
i never met father d till todayaday
i woz in church beging and praying for a litelsilly mistake i made today and father d come to tark to me and dasi god fogives every 1 and not towory abot silly litel mustakes coz we alll make thm even preasted make thm
the preast who did my dads funrell woz the same 1 who did my mum and dads frend father s he come to sea how we wer in the church and tht but it woz hard to stay strong but i felt like sumthnk woz behind me all the tim and we wer siting at the bac i no the funrell director woz out side with the pallbures so it wozent thm pluss we didnt use tht funrell company pluss i woz singing the wong page pleased no 1 herd but it brot bac all the memrie of my dads funrell
Sue - another weird thing happened. As I said, I told the truth about that person who abused my dad yesterday. It was weird. the way that meeting came about seemed to be set up by my dad - it fell in my lap. Then, I thought he wanted me to bring the person he told me in life had abused him to justice, so I did the right thing and told that truth. Then, I had this dream. And, this morning I woke up and there was an old email a good employee from that nursing home who had tried to help my dad had sent me - and it was resent last night after that meeting - dated 7/5 - resent from two years ago. It was waiting in my email box this morning. My dad set it up for me to bring this woman to justice - every step of the way up to me being able to tell his truth yesterday was so weird it had to be him setting it up and then I get that email just like he calls me on the phone. I did the right thing. I did it for my dad. He's been asking me to from the other side. I think this woman will be in very big trouble but it will protect many abused old people from her. I think all of this is from my dad.
The thing I like about dreams is they allow you to continue that relationship with your departed one that you miss the most - seeing them and being with them. If you go to bed and say "this is what I want to dream about" and start thinking about it....it happens. I can go to bed the next night and start the same dream off when it ended the night before. I have always been able to revisit my dreams. My mother has not called me on my cell phone in a few weeks, but she comes to me as a gigantic Monarch Butterfly at the weirdest moments.
One other thing I wanted to tell you is that yesterday I was interviewed about an abusive employee who worked in the nursing home my dad had been in at the end. He actually died from neglect and abuse at that nursing home. It looks like she might get in quite a bit of trouble for what she did. Maybe having that interview yesterday led to the dream, because in that nursing home were a lot of soul less people who you'd beg for help and they'd let your family member suffer while they treated you at the nursing station like those ladies at the mall desk in my dream treated me. Maybe the dream was letting me know that those who were involved in the abuse will unravel now (like the wiggly parallel universe seemed to be coming apart) and they were mad at me for that. The nursing home has already been closed but it seems more action will be taken against individual employees who actually abused.
Sorry everyone - I will come back and read your messages that I've missed the past couple of days. But, for now, I'd like to tell you all about a dream I had. I was at a shopping mall and I was supposed to be with my dad and caring for him, but he was never in the dream. I was there with my younger brother and my dad's and now my friend, Rick. Well, at one point I realized my dad was not with me, so I asked Rick and my brother where he was. They told me he drove his truck home. I could not believe they let him drive. I even asked them how well he was walking, and they said "Not so good." I was running through the mall looking for him. At the beginning of the dream I'd been carrying these two hat boxes of cards (I sent out a lot of cards when my dad was sick and send them now to sick people and people in nursing homes), and i realized as I looked for my dad I'd lost the boxes of cards and I was feeling a great loss from that. But, I kept looking for my dad. At one point I was with Rick's wife. We were looking out the window and a big yellow thing flew by and fell into a big fan on top of a building and then she was just standing and watching as all kinds of commotion started and I was running from the window and begging her to come with me but she was just watching as things seemed to move wiggly like they were in a different dimension. Then, I went to one shop where I asked for help but since I wasn't buying anything they made fun of me and told me to go away. One lady made fun of me and she had dark eyes and I got in her face and told her that maybe I was in need but she had no soul and that was a worse place to be in. Then, she starts telling me what is wrong with me for worrying about my dad and my cards, but I told her over and over that she had no soul until she had no argument left to minimize me and then she walked away, looking back once with her dark eyes like she was going to say something else but didn't before she turned away again and walked away In the window behind her was that parallel universe type thing again. Finally, I get down stairs and my brother approaches me from a crowd. This is a brother who has mental disease and abused my dad, so Adult Protective Services took my dad away from him and gave him to me, so I felt a bit of fear as he approached me. Then, he tells me not to worry but the river will be full of blood that night from a car (I think he told me color and stuff but I don't remember) that my dad hit on the way home. I asked him if my dad was okay, and he said he died on impact and never knew what hit him. When I first woke up, I felt very disturbed, but then I calmed down as I seemed to magically realize that the dream was telling me that my dad had never known what hit him and was away from this but I was the one still running around in hell facing my brother with mental disease who would let an old man drive when he isn't able to and my friend's wife who is an alcoholic and our culture's focus on shopping and making money above people and heartless people who have no souls yet he is free. Does that make sense that that is what it meant or do you think the dream was a bad warning that something is not okay with my dad on the other side.
had to go to another funrell today yhe 1st 1 sinse my dads funrell the same preast who did my dads woz a very ild frend of my mums and dad but wen i woz in the church i felt sumthnk cold be hind me i no there woz nobody there coz we wer siting in the bac but it felt cold and like sum 1 woz behind me or unless my imaginasions is runing wild even before we cum out the church after servise wer the funrell directer bourd behid the coffen for the ball bures to pick her up then wen we cum out of the church it went
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