Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim
co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books
Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.
Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!
We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.
Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:
Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.
Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.
Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.
Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.
Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.
Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.
Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.
ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.
Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.
Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.
Telephone Calls: These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.
Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."
Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.
According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:
"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...
Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...
Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...
I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."
You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.
Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.
Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.
Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.
Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.
Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.
For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."
Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.
Webmaster: Will Guggenheim
Comment
i fogot to say storyas 1 of my mums freind had problems with that ward my dad died on her husband had dirty him self and the nurse wer gosping then and they told her u clean him up wille all the foring nurses were working like slaves but they helpet her instead but she reported them for bean lazy for gosping and bean raset but i dont no if she got any were
no not offened storyas i do foget abot my self sum times to or sum times put my foot in it with people like a while ago i asket this lady wen her baby woz due and she told me she wozent pregnant i thort ops but she warket away not very happy i told my mum in my next life i hope u and my dad r my parents again but i hope the world is a beter plase and safer plase i often wonder wot type of person woz i in a past life i just hope it woz sumbody nice im going to wite more letters on ballons im going to try and wite it to other people iv lost and ill sea if they pop i will let u no if it duze
jb - that is good that you try to think of other people (but don't forget about yourself - my pastor always says that you've got to take care of yourself before you are any good to any one else: I only say that cuz I'm the type who tends to forget about myself so I assume all giving people do - please don't be offended by my words). I think people who think of other people instead of always being selfish are happier people. That was very nice of you to take your Aunt out and to care for your mom when she was not feeling good the day of the party. I'm sure she loved the photos you took, because you take very very good pictures from what I've seen so far.
I don't know why it happens. Some of my Christian friends are telling me that if I were really a Christian that I would not believe these things could happen like balloons popping and phone calls, etc. But, the bible says that we do not fully understand while we walk this earth, so I'm going to assume this is part of the part we can't understand while on this earth. It is too much of a coincidence that the balloons pop every time. And, some people have told me that the double rainbow following my car was just physics, and that may be true, but what about a double rainbow being in my niece's parking lot for the exact same hours it was following my car even though my niece lives hours away. And, what about the phone calls I keep experiencing. My dad called me again last night - this is the first time he's done it two nights in a row. I am going to hope he is trying to tell me thank you, because I did something on his behalf recently to bring to justice those who abused him in the nursing facility. I'm going to believe what is repeatedly happening and realize I will not have an understanding of everything that happens while I am on this earth. If anyone else were truly experiencing what I am experiencing, they would not be able to doubt either. That would be great if my dad and your dad were friends on the other side. I hope they both have a good friend or friends and are happy.
it happend again with the balloons the blue 1 popet strate away and that woz my dads faret color and the greay popet wen i toset up with my god arm behind me and the orange 1 popet in my hand and they wer all leters to my dad even thore i woz geting sum funny looks off this lady warking her dog i now no like storssssssssxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxz like storyas said my dad can pop ballons im leveing that bit on coz lucy jumet on my hand wen i woz typing on top of the keybord it sond like yore dads get thru lucy by jumping on me it look like our dads are freinds with each other all redy i didnt get to my anti s 80 th bday coz mum wozent well but tuch wood that shes ok now my dad used to say that but we went out for a meal today instead i give her 2 lovely fotos i took and necklase for my anti and she woz very happy abot that shes got 5 kids 1 in jail whos a bad person and the other 3 good peopel and other 1 all she thinks of her self well she did till sum thnk bad happend to her i all ways try to thnk of other peopel
Hi everyone. Sorry I haven't been on for a while. I missed a lot of messages. Almost too many for me to answer. I will say that like Sue my dad called me again last night. Those calls are getting farther and farther apart, but he still calls sometimes.
jb - I can understand how you feel when your dad's cat starts playing with you like she did him. I experience that sometimes with my dad's cat and dog, and it makes me remember my dad.
On the getting easier subject, it does get easier in that we get used to living without them because we have no other choice, but it doesn't get easier because we never stop wanting them to be here to do the things with us they used to do like jb saying her dad should be here for his fortieth wedding anniversary and her aunt's birthday, etc. We never stop wishing they were there for that kind of thing, but eventually we accept that we have a new reality to live. We still long for the past, but we get to a point where we can accept we don't have it any more. So, in a sense, you both do and don't get over it.
this weak lucy the cat has dun evry thnk to me like she used to do my dad jumpet on my hed cloueted me frew the stairs evry day went fow my hand then ran fast like to say tag yore it and beging for more treats iv bean giving her these new 1s vit bits mamby thats giving her 2 much enurgie for a cat of her age 12 yr old shes prety fast my dad used to say she will live us all out
Kim,
I know it is confusing. It never gets easier to live without them in the physical sense. We miss hearing their voices, having dinner with them, having holidays with them. That part never gets easier. What we can do is accept that they are no longer here physically. The horrible grief we feel when they first leave us is beyond anything we have ever had to experience. As time passes we change because we have to. We can either stay in bed all day and cry mourning them or we can rejoyce for them now being with their loved ones and higher power. Whether you believe in God or Jesus we will all meet our higher power one day. You will be asked to judge yourself and how you have lived YOUR life. Kim, the people in our lives are there for a reason. And you are put in their lives for a reason. Look back and try to understand why you were given the parents you had, the friends you have had, siblings...ect. Back to communications...when we are upset we our vibrations are like spark pluggs going crazy. The neurotramsmitters in our brain are firing our of control. No other vibrations can connet. I'm not saying I don't have days when I am not crying and just so damn depressed. It is on the days that I am feeling free and I get allow myself to be happy that my mother contacts me.
I am confused because in your response to jb you said it never gets easier. With that said, I don't understand your statement :
... that is why we can dream with them so often. We are not stressed out, crying, feeling depressed. Those high energy emotions block their vibrations. Remember that pain and love are both emotions - we define them as good or bad. None the less they are just emotions we. I will read victor zammitt. thank you
Kim,
It is my personal experience that your loved one with come to you when you are at peace. Thats why we can dream with them so often. We are not stressed out, crying, feeling depressed. Those high energy emotions block their vibrations. Remember that pain and love are both emotions - we define them as good or bad. None the less they are just emotions we react to on our own personal level. There is nothing we can do to bring them back in the physical sense, and that is what we are missing. All of us are going to transition to where they are now. They are not "dead" they are just different. They have moved on because that is all part of the plan. Be happy that your loved one is in a MUCH, MUCH more loving and pain free place. No more worries. Only the greatest of peace, joy and happiness imaginable. It is missing them that is hard for us. Please read Victor Zammitt. It will bring you temendous inner peace.
I had an experience from my late husband. I was asleep when he came to me and hugs me from behind my shoulders, only for me to turn around and sense his spirit self, and he kissed me. I remembered everything that happened. i know this feeling will last me my lifetime. i know his loving self will be with me many times throughout the rest of my journey. I'm trying to find inner piece, and direction.
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