Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim
co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books
Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.
Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!
We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.
Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:
Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.
Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.
Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.
Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.
Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.
Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.
Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.
ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.
Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.
Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.
Telephone Calls: These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.
Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."
Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.
According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:
"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...
Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...
Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...
I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."
You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.
Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.
Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.
Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.
Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.
Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.
For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."
Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.
Webmaster: Will Guggenheim
Comment
I'm new to this. What is the significance of a feather?
Dolly, that was a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing. I wish that I could have known Brandon. It's unfortunate that so many want only to adopt infants. We are all little children. You gave Brandon so much love and it is not surprising to me that he would want to give love back in return. Yes, people will say those lights came on for logical reasons. It all comes down to faith. I know that my mom loves me enough to contact me in some way if she could or if she can. Maybe she can't. I don't know. But I have no doubt that she still loves me. Brandon had/has so much love for you that he would want you to know that he is healthy now. He would want to thank you. Either people who have passed can do these things for us or they can't. I don't know. I do not have my own experiences to draw on. I hope they can and I hope that they do. Regardless, Brandon still loves you. My mom still loves me. I know this.
I love being able to help people in need. I was very involved with Easter seals for a long time. I was a live-in caretaker at a place called, "Camp Easter." I was able to work with people of all ages and disabilities. It was an incredible experience. I now work with a group called, "Family Promise." we provide housing for homeless families, and from my end, companionship. Working with the elderly is a passion of mine as well. Here's the thing though. As awful as it may sound, right now all of these things just seem to make me miss mom more. I don't know why. If there is a psychiatrist on the site, maybe he/she could tell me what that is all about. My minister called me yesterday and asked me to stay involved with all of these things. He knows that I have a broken heart and am looking for a greater connection with God. He told me that I would find that by being involved with the body of Christ (people). I want to. It is very hard for me to even leave the house right now. I have to go to work of course. Last night I prayed to God that, if it were possible, that I could see my mom in a dream. I have prayed this prayer many times. I haven't had such a dream yet. My dreams about mom are usually very sad. Mom would not have wanted that.
I love your heart, Dolly. God is love and you are doing your level best to share love. That is what it is all about. Thank you, buddy. It may sound crazy... I don't know you but I love you.
thnx dolly bean a bad few mnts u cud say bean a real y bad few i thng my dad othr lovd 1s drop thn let thm no thy stil arnd now thn thy r
BRETT .. I just remembered I wanted to tell you something else... I told you the story about the lights that went on in our mountain house TWICE... the thing I forgot to tell you was that they weren't just ANY lights.. it was a little STAR light that was over top of a MANGER scene we always leave up all year round !! How cool is THAT? and the house where its found is WAY back up the mountain .. the road is almost impassible.. the only power is from solar panels.. nobody could have gotten into the house to turn on the lights.. and we KNOW they were off... they were battery powered but after the second mysterious lighting they never would work again... just wanted to tell you that.. of course there's always the chance that the lightings were some fluke to do with the batteries but I don't think it was a fluke.. especially considering what the light WAS, and the fact that I had asked God to repeat the lighting if it was from Him or my son... and it was the VERY NEXT TIME we went there.. we only went once a week then.. nobody was there the rest of the time... I'm posting a picture of the lights after the second lighting..
JO Its so amazing that the feathers are still falling around you after all this time... we have not had many 'events' lately.... mostly just that wonderful aroma of lilies from time to time... I don't know why all the things stopped happening ... at first there were so many... and so amazing and impossible to ignore.. but not any more... I'm glad that you are still seeing dad's feathers.... I hope you are having some peace now.. we do have some peace now but NEVER stop the missing.. it still comes on like a train wreck out of the blue so often.. but we seem to be able to get through those times and still find some peace on the other side... at first I didn't think I would ever really smile at anything again... and there is still deep sadness in every smile... but I know our separation isn't forever and every day is one day closer to when we will be together again with all those sweet loved ones we have lost... love you JO..
Brett.. I went to my music.. which was so much a part of my son's life and because it had meant so much to him it had become important to me.. he was totally physically disabled and could only really move his head and left arm on his own.. he totally loved GOOD music of any genre except opera and sad sounding classical music and when he especially loved a song he would shake that left arm and chortle and smile and his whole body would seem to just about burst out of itself trying to 'dance'... when that happened we would buy the tune on iTunes and learn to play it along with the recording... my husband on his electronic horn and me on my Q chord [which I had bought for my kids but which they refused to play so I started playing it].. so after he died we fell into long sessions of music and many things happened around the music to make me feel closer to him... and also we still had his brother Bo at home and that of course helped immensely to keep us focused.. he too is severely physically disabled.. we adopted both boys as infants/toddlers... we couldn't have any the 'natural' way and I had always worked with and loved kids with disabilities and when we went to adopt they said we were too old and too poor to qualify for any children except older kids, or younger kids with disabilities and/or of minority races... so we looked for younger kids with BOTH qualifiers and adopted first a Mexican American baby and then an African American toddler.. both with severe CP... we took them into our very remote mountain home where we had few amenities but lots of peace and purity... later we moved them into town when it became obvious that our youngest needed to be closer to medical facilities and to make it easier for them to attend school and be a part of the goings on of the world.... looking back I wish we had stayed on the mountain because the world isn't a good place for kids like mine... so if its in any way possible for you to find some way to interact with the disabled or the elderly.. like in a nursing home maybe... I would highly recommend your at least thinking about it... it will never be your mom... but it could make such a world of difference to some lonely soul to have someone like you with such a caring heart to be a part of their lives if only for a short time each week... there are SO many children with disabilities that desperately need families... the world is getting more and more cruel to them as it is to the elderly... it won't be long before they are openly killing them off and convincing the rest of us they are doing us all a favor.... including those they are killing... its insanity.. but it's the way of the world... I don't know where you live, but most areas now have Senior Centers where they serve dinners and have activities for the local elderly population.. after several years we started to go to them and play music on one or two mornings a week... right through the meal... along with some other musicians... we aren't all that welcome by the other musicians because they don't think we are 'real' musicians but the elderly people like to hear us because we always try to play what they want to hear instead of just showing off our 'expertise' like some of the others do... we would love to play at a nursing home or even at a prison but so far have been too shy to do either.... we also have an adopted daughter... now estranged due to her totally lawless lifestyle... who was born to a woman who was at the time in a local federal womens' prison so there is a place we might be able to go.. and there is a nursing home just down the road... I am trying to get myself inspired enough to pursue this but so far have not been able to do it.. I am too old to adopt or foster children anymore or I would do that too... here is the url to the adoption site where we found our son Brandon .. the one we lost in 2013... they are an exceptional agency and just a wonderful bunch of people... they recently spoke to me about the problem they are now having with teenagers who are aging out of the system but have no where to go.. I am an absolute failure with teenagers... we have tried but they always just run all over us and run wild... but some people are amazing with troubled teens... myself if I was still young would go for the severely disabled kids in wheelchairs because both our boys were/are just amazingly wonderful people... a REALLY tough job taking care of them... medically fragile and with all the physical side of it... but so worth it... so loving and inspirational... and if all that is just impossible to contemplate there are special ed classes that I bet would LOVE to have volunteers to help... I started out working with adult women with severe disabilities in an institution and it changed my life totally.. I was working my way through college and had neveer had any exposure to people with disabilities and here was a whole two hugh rooms full of them and I was the only one that had the time to do anything with them at all... the help was so meager... I never was the same and all my life I have worked with the disabled in one capacity or another and it is so dear to my heart... so I would encourage you to at least think about getting involved with the elderly or the disabled in some way... they are so dear to God... anyway enough of my yaKking...I'm posting the picture of my son Brandon that won my heart over... and here is the URL to the agency where we found him: http://www.capbook.org/
all
i seam 2 fnd in brd fethrs i doon my door stp orin my bac yrd or ft i do r it lnad on me
sorry abot typo ers i am just los fealin in my hnd bt i am
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