Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim
co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books
Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.
Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!
We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.
Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:
Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.
Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.
Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.
Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.
Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.
Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.
Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.
ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.
Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.
Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.
Telephone Calls: These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.
Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."
Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.
According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:
"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...
Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...
Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...
I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."
You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.
Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.
Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.
Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.
Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.
Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.
For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."
Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.
Webmaster: Will Guggenheim
Comment
had dream my dad cum 2 vits me he warkt way frm his coffen bt he lookt well agan he did it flt so real
I held his shirt as I sat in his chair this morning. After awhile I was aware of his body scent. I know he was there for awhile. It's been eleven weeks today and it's so much worse than it was when he died. I can't believe I will not see him again. This is a bad dream. I've cried a river of tears. I was with him when he died but he didn't know I was there. I pray that somehow he really did know I was with him. I love you John.
Dolly, I just got done reading your posts. My sister, whose fiancé had aging parents went though the same. They were catholic but mainly had interests in this world.
So when the mom went to pass, she kept telling her son to keep all those "people"out of the room. (There weren't any he could see ). She also had her deceased sister visit her shortly before the moms passing in Dec of 2012. These were very sensible grounded very German people...
Then the Dad took a turn for the worse in May of 2013. He had called his son a day earlier with great excitement in his voice, (it was a very early morning call). He said he had just seen his wife. She told him that he would be "going with her to the Park soon." I believe he died a couple days later after this visit. It was exactly 6 months from the day of his wife's passing, same day of the week.
This was a total evidential deathbed vision to me. Like I said, this couple was not ever into this type of spirituality so it was startling that it happened just like that.
he doesnt want you to forget his anniversary maybe?
sumtn weid juts happn i no im nt gona kt krazy i tryd 2 trn my lap t off fr sym reson my natr got on speakn 2 day on 2012 wz my dads lst day on eth erfth he died on 3/3 2012 tom is my dads anvsry it is
I always put lilies out for my son on special days.. like his birthday.. but strangely I can't smell them.. my husband complains that the aroma is overwhelming and thick, but I can't smell a thing... BUT other times when there is not one lily in the house I will be surrounded by a very delightful aroma of them suddenly and out of nowhere... and usually after a few minutes the aroma will be totally gone again... I truly believe it's a hug and kiss from heaven...
when my dad was near death at 93 he told my sister that mom [who had died years earlier] had told him that she was coming for him in his chariot at 9:30.. my sister thought he was just delirious... but he died at 9:30 the next morning...here is another story about something like that happening:
For those of us in the ER, dealing with death in our own department is difficult enough. But from time to time we are also called upon to deal with a death that has occurred elsewhere in the hospital.
When someone dies, a physician is needed to certify and then document that a death has actually occurred. This responsibility clearly falls to the treating physician.
However, if it’s late at night or the middle of a weekend and that patient’s physician is not in the hospital, the ER doc on duty might seem a reasonable alternative. After all, he or she is in the hospital, awake, and “available.”
One night Bill Jones called and asked me to go upstairs and pronounce one of his patients. “Sure, Bill,” I responded. “Mr. Blake in 432?” I confirmed, making a note on a scrap of paper.
“Yes, that’s right,” he answered. “Eighty-two years old, I think. Cancer of the pancreas. The family has already gone home. They were expecting this, and I’ll talk with them in the morning.”
“Okay, I’ll take care of it.” The elevator ascended smoothly, and for a moment I was alone with my thoughts. How many times have I done this? Too many. And I suspect there will be many more. It is a perfunctory task. Check for a pulse. Check for any respirations. Note the time on the chart. Almost always, these are people I don’t know and have never seen.
Room 432 was dark, illuminated only by the pale fluorescent glow of a small fixture over the head of the bed and the faint light of a new moon as it shone through the open window. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the change.
I walked over to the edge of the bed. Mr. Blake lay peacefully, covered with a blanket that had been tucked neatly under his chin. His head rested on a pillow, his eyes were closed, and his mouth was partly open.
I watched him for a minute and could not discern any respirations. I put my stethoscope in my ears and, pulling the blanket down, exposed his chest. I checked for any cardiac activity or movement of air. None.
After carefully replacing his blanket I opened his medical chart, found the appropriate page, and struggled in the faint light to make a few notes. “No respirations. No cardiac activity. Pronounced dead at 2:27 a.m.”
That was it. I had officially documented the death of this complete stranger. He had been born eighty-some years ago, and now he was gone.
I stepped back from the bed and found the scene strangely peaceful. It was completely quiet, and the moon shining through the window added a surreal touch. Then it occurred to me that I was an interloper. This was a profound moment, the ending of a man’s life. And though I was on official business, I was in fact a stranger.
I turned to the door and jumped, when from the far corner of the room I heard a man’s voice. “He’s at peace now.”
Stopping in my tracks, I stared in the direction of this voice and tried to determine its source. In the shadowed right-hand corner of the room, I began to make out the form of a man sitting in a chair. He shifted in his seat, clearly declaring his presence.
“Yes, he is,” I answered. “I’m Dr. Lesslie. And you are…?”
“I’m his son, Paul Blake,” came the response. We were silent for a moment. Strangely this unexpected interruption didn’t bother me, though now even more than before it occurred to me that I indeed was interrupting this scene.
“Yeah, he’s at peace now,” Paul repeated. “It’s been a tough couple of weeks. Cancer of the pancreas is a…” He paused, searching for the words that could somehow sum up his father’s last weeks of pain and suffering. There were no adequate words for this, nor for the loss that Paul had anticipated and that was now crushing him.
“He suffered a good bit the last few days. But last night he was real calm, and we talked for a good bit. And his pain seemed to be better.”
Paul Blake shifted again in his chair. “At about midnight, Rachel—that’s his wife, my momma—told him it was time and it was all right to let go.”
He paused and collected himself. “And that seemed to release him. He got real quiet and peaceful. And in a little while, he just stopped breathing.”
He was silent, and I wasn’t sure I needed to respond. But somehow this was an unusual moment and I was led to say, “You know, sometimes that’s what it takes. When nothing else can be done, it’s the words of a wife, or husband, or some other loved one that can make the difference. And you’re right about ‘release.’ Sometimes that’s what has needed to happen. And it takes a strong person to be able to release a loved one.”
“You’re right,” he answered. “Momma was a strong person. And right now, I miss her something awful. She’s been dead five years.”
What had I just heard? Dead? And then I understood. “Your daddy thought he was talking with his wife?”
“No. He didn’t think he was talking with her. He knew he was. He was sort of muttering to himself, when he just stopped and looked straight at me. And then he was as clear as a bell. He told me what she’d said, and that it was going to be all right. And he told me he loved me. Then he was quiet. And that was it.”
Linds.. believe it... you weren't looking for it... so many things have happened since my son died in 2013... with no explanation... at just the right moment.. from a clap of thunder at the very last note of a song we were playing .. to lights going on by themselves TWICE ... the same little lights that were battery run ... at our mountain house where we only go every few days... twice several days apart.. after the first time I asked God that if the lights going on were from my son or from Him telling me my son was OK and with Him to let them go on again by themselves and the very next time we went to the house they were on again.... I don't know how this communication works but I truly believe it does.... and if we aren't trying to conjure up spirits or anything that might be dangerous spiritually, how does it hurt to believe these random unexpected events???
Everyday I think of him. It's been 13 months since he died. There have been signs and even vivid dreams but I have a bad case of self doubt and at times I feel very skeptical of the "signs", telling myself that I'm just merely traumatized and stuck in grief.
But... this past weekend I was eating lunch at a Panera and doing some work on my laptop. I circled around the place looking for a good spot to sit. I wondered in that moment if he'd feel sad for me spending a Saturday afternoon all alone, working. I decided on a booth in the back, all to myself. I sat and got my food and computer all set up and there, on the table top I saw "L J" written on the table. L is my first initial. J is his first initial. We used to refer to each other as "L&J". I sat there stunned and just started at those letters. I had the biggest surge in my heart and a teary smile. What are the chances?
I hope that was something in can believe in.
2 day i fond a fethr in my bed room it seam 2 cum frm no wear i fond it onf floor i did
i no wen iv bean it funrlls iv sean brd on top of cremtormim woof i hav its lk thy trn in 2 angls thy do
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