My husband of 20+ years was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer on May 18, 2013, he went to live in Heaven on June 7, 2013.  I have such a void, an emptiness that I' not can ever be filled.  We were planning to renew our vows in September.  It was so sudden and came out of no where.  Everyone seems to think I should be over it ... what does that even mean?  I still cry everyday and I miss him so much.  I feel cheated - God has kept me going.  I go to work, I cry - I drive home, I cry - I eat, I cry .... Our children are grown and basically seem to be pretending it didn't happen.  I can't / wont sleep in our bed, I havent even cleaned his things out.  How do I stop the pain?

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Comment by Sarah T. Williams on August 17, 2013 at 5:19pm

Dear Yvonne,

I am so sorry for the loss of your darling husband. I lost my husband of almost 23 years on June 16, 2013 Father's Day and is still reeling from the aftermath. We did have a chance to renew our wedding vows on September 22, 2010. I feel your pain, the loneliness, sleepless nights, good days and bad days, sobbing uncontrollably while driving home. I seem as if the tears will never end. I have started attending a Christian grief support group and it has helped me. The name of the support group is Griefshare.org. I will be praying for you and you in return please pray for me that the both of us as widowed women will someday have a healthy grief recovery through by the grace of God. Concerning you husband clothes, I have not removed any of my husband's belongings and I think when the time is right you and I will know what to do. I have found out that sometimes we hear words of encouragement and sometimes we hear words that only take away our progress in moving forward in grief. We must be lead by our heart and mind. It had been about (2) weeks since my husband had passed, I decided that it was time for me to start back sleeping in our bed. While walking up the stairs to our bedroom tears were streaming down my face, but I sleep that night alone in our bed and is still sleeping in it nightly. May God bless you and strengthen you and continue to help you along your journey of grief. 

Sarah

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