The Film The Book Of Life - Lessons Learned

The Grief Journey-What To Pack

Ste today I had to get the train to London. I couldn't help but compare my journey of grief with my journey on that train. 

I sat on the train among strangers. As soon as people get on the train they become lifeless.I feel unconscious without you -I feel my soul has been ripped from my being as if all hope is gone. 

No one shows any emotion they all avoid eye…

Rest In Peace my love

Everlasting in my memories

So dearly loved

Time will unite us

I will always love you

Never forgotten…

I am just over two months into my Grief journey so I thought I would share some thoughts on it with you.

Yes I still cry there are many tears-but what is a tear. A tear is a mini universe of the feelings and moments you shared with your loved one. Your tears are your way of expressing that love you felt for them. Every tear you shed is a blessing for them like putting the sign of the cross on your head with holy…

Ste 

As I left work today my mind played a cruel trick on me-I thought I saw you walking towards me -like when you used to meet me -you would bounce towards me baseball cap on head with with a grin from ear to ear. My heart lept and filled with joy and my voice cried out silently Ste- but then -the realisation it was a stranger blasted my mind like I'd been waterboarded and my heart fell and felt like I had left it on the pavement behind me as the truth of your death hit me again like…

Ste

This is how it feels without you -the constant pain and heartbreak that happens when I go to bed , when I wake up and at odd times when I have a moment of oblivion like a day dream and then the certain realisation of your death hits me like a knife piercing my heart and soul that you are forever gone.

Yet I still feel connected to you -how can you be gone-I still love you and miss you more than life itself. After two months It doesn't seem to get better I have learnt that I…

Why is it when someone you love dies that you replay years worth of memories in your head in a few hours remembering every word, every look, every emotion you felt and witnessed and yet you crave new memories that are no longer possible. You ring their phone just to hear their voicemail kick in and you crave to still speak to them -the phone rings and you think it may be them but it is not possible.…

Night time is my nightly nightmare, It's the time I miss you the most

I go outside and gaze with eyes wide open at the shaded sky and melancholy moon

I search out the sky studded stars one by one 

I silently speak to each star and ask, is that you shining?…

The tears fall freely on my face tonight

My grief has to be seen

A journey full of heartbreak, 

And it all seems like a dream.

 …

I miss your smile Ste, your chin that was dimpled as if kissed by an angel and the way you squinted one eye

Missing the love and the life we shared

Imagining what you would be saying at every point of the day,I miss our conversations

Separated from you I'm lost without you by my side I miss your wise words & guidance

Sad that we can't laugh at the silliest things together and share…