When we lose those we love,

You must understand

That it takes time

To learn to feel again –

For nothing

Can touch the heart

Which is frozen with grief.

~   Unknown

I wish so bad you were here with me! Its been so hard being alone and dealing with life by myself. Meagan gets married in less than 2 weeks and you are suppose to be here to share this special day with her. She loved you so much and misses you too. I know you want us to be happy but its so hard. I talked to your baby girl on your birthday and yesterday.... father's day. She loves you and misses you so very much!! We have all tried to be here for each other. I found a grief support group that…

We must always remember that every person’s situation is different, and every person’s unique experience and personality plays a role in their grief.

There’s no time limit for “getting over it,” and “moving on.” I’m still amazed at how prevalent this view is in society, and also how limiting and damaging it is for those who need to mourn in order to heal and create a new life out of their experience of loss.

To quote from Mary Oliver’s “The Uses of Sorrow,” as I’ve done before…

yesterday woz hard coz u wernt thr for me to spoll u with sweats cakes or any sweet stuf it woz hard seang the cards in the shops with dad on and sum of thm cards wer nise espely the funny 1s u wood of liket even the 1s with long pmes in u wood of liket or sum of the balled songs u hear on the radio ithnk dad wood of liket tht 

I never thought I'd be at this point in my life where I'd actually say I don't think I can take the void much longer.  Your loss and all that has happened really is too much.  It's too final.   This was my biggest fear.  Every horrific nightmare that a person could hope would never happen has happened in less than a year. 

Four days ago for the first time I realized in complete clarity I will never see or speak to you again.  EVER.  It's now been 6 months since the moment I…

Of course I try to put the loss of her out of my head but the loss and its memories keep poping up.Memories you cannot control Some memories especially when I allowed the life support to be taken away are very vivid.Very bad. I was told once by a psycho therpist that I have a great resilency.

So I go to the urologist Thursday,he discusses my PSA blood (every three month) I had prostate cancer ,it was taken out.The check is made to see if your cancer is coming back . You dread a high…

i hope u ar having a good fathers day wer u r i bet u r bean like a surgate dad to the kids up thr telling thm storys from funy storys and gost storys i bet u r teaching thm thngs lik u did wen i woz a kid teacher fort i woz a waster end up no good till i got tested for dislexia but it woz to late by the tim i woz dignozed but u never fort i woz a waaster or end up in the gutter 1 teacher saw good me tht i woz good at art and fotograry like u wer good at art and fortogry u wer good at art i…

even though our marriage wasn,t perfect and psychogically and emotionly we both suffered through negative mental crap we existed in somewhat of a happy state of mind. You never expect someones life to drastically change in a space of three weeks(maby four).After all she had heart problems and the hosp would always fix her . Whats odd she had a cardiac arrest(cpr) and She or me didn,t really place alot of thought on and apparently the bubbling…

I had a feeling this weekend was going to be a tough one to get through.All week long my emotions and feeling were totally foreign to me,almost like an alien was taking me over.Nothing major planned today but the alien started up in the morning,it was  like getting hit with a sledgehammer in the chest.I hadn't been this sad and depressed in a while.I get my composure together to go to the store to  buy some pool supplies as i'm waiting to get the water checked Mike the owner comes over to…

tomoro is gonig to ne hard the 1st fathers day with out u seaning cards in the shops and sweets with dad on and cakes with dad on as bean geting to me all day like a lot of other people it will be geting thm like dads who hav lost kids itl be geting to thm 2if u wer hear today i wood of bort u sweets cake or a si fi dvd or a box set of smalvill or the mentlist i no i bort the last harry potter film befor u went haven got the guts to put it on yet i no we saw the last 6 together we did i…

I wonder what I truly remember after all the times I reminisce.

Could it be true memories,

Or just skewed visions amiss?

Sometimes I remember swinging in the back yard,

kicking my legs up all the way to the sky;

You'd be right there next to me,

smiling, soaring past heavens guards.

Sometimes I think,

this pretty time-captured moment

should have been a big little hint;

Like one of those badly added…

I saw a post somewhere where the surviving spouse got rid of all departed belongings or at least stored it. I more or less incline to do that but at the samed time continue the legacy of the departed.Of course who the hell would remember me. Yes I want to change things at home. I have 35 yrs of memories  Stuff to sort thru stuff to put in a scape book.Stuff to throw away.I get ideas as I go along.…

the 2 times we went to the semtery i hav wote aletter last time on 2 ballons like the 1st 1 popet in the ground the 2 nd 1 popet in the air today i wote on 4 ballons1 i wote happy fathers day dad and the other 3 were leters but the green 1 traveld to 10 hed stones before it burst i dont no if it is u playing jokes on us still in heven or wot i bet my nan is still drinking any sprit strate and smoking all sorts i bet stevo my cuzen yore nefew my surgtat bruv is making u laf like u made evry 1…

Hi my name is Julie and I lost my soulmate on in October of 2010. Looking for others to help me understand this terrible loss. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

Yesterday on the radio I heard a Father's Day ad for Hallmark and it made me so sad. I was thinking about last Father's Day and remember that we all (my sister, my brother, my mom, our husbands, kids AND my Step Dad) went to the nursing and rehab center to spend it with my bio Dad since he was there. It was great to be able to celebrate with both of my Dad's in the same place on Father's Day. This Father's Day I am able to celebrate that my bio Dad is doing well however the loss of losing my…

How do I go on when it feels like I'm stuck on March 7th. My birthday was a blur and now here its June 13th your birthday. God I wish I was still numb instead of feeling all the emptness and lonelyness!! Baby I know you want me to be happy but how am I suppose to do that without you. You were (are) my everything...... my world!! I just wish I understood why you had to leave me when doctors said you were doing great!! Why???  People that say time heals are so wrong!! I would give anything to…

there are some grief support groups in austin but not much. So I come here and blog,maby to much.. Me and my wife never did keep a photo album or anything like that. .Well ok we did along time ago.I don,t have a recent picture of her . People always ask how Iam doing and I always say "good" what I really want to say is Iam depressed screwed up I want to smash something and Iam  confused,No one is making decisions for me Iam having to…

when i cry now i cry differently  , i hear my self howl at times and try to quiet myself and my tears are different as in size whats weird and  what worry s me is how or why am i noticing such trivial
 things ? am i losing my mind sure feels like im closer each day to insanity.