We have to know what to expect for the holidays, and that would be pain from

that empty space of whose missing.  It's important to have someone to share the pain

with, if not a friend or family member, there are various support groups like this On LIne 

Grief Support, or churches, libraries, and others available in your community.

The holidays were always comforting and frustrating for me, but this year will definitely be challenging and painful.  We just have to…

To my friends on OLGS, I wish you all of the love that your lost loved ones still have for you, and I love you all too!

We are not here to suffer, we were not put here to suffer, so let the light shine in and shine on you and your families and your lives!   I believe our loved ones are in the sunshine, in the rain, in the air, in the earth's scent, and just basically in nature.  They have become a greater and more beautiful part of this world, a bigger part of us all!  

And…

Do you remember a time in your life when you stopped needing and looking for love, and it found you?

I remember a date about 16 years ago, she wanted me to pick up 2 tacos, so when I got to her house, she was coming out of her front door.  I grabbed the tacos from the front seat, got out of my drivers side door, set the tacos on my seat, then walked around to open her door for her, shut it, walked back around to get in my door, and sat on the tacos.  Needless to say, the relationship…

I've been thinking a lot lately and asking myself the question What is life?

Life is a living cell, or many cells, millions of them working together to produce life.

It originated in water vapor some  4.7 billion years ago.

It is living matter.

It produces through fertilization.

It's DNA and RNA and twenty amino acids. 

It's evolution

It is a journey from conception to birth, through childhood, adulthood and old age.

It is a growing and…

Love is the key when we're grieving.

When we hear the words "I Love You", our hearts are instantly lifted!

Troubles disappear, we drop our problems on the floor of our emotional rooms, and we are overjoyed!

That's the power and spiritual healing of Love.

Our loved ones told us they loved us, and maybe said they will love us forever.

I keep finding notes, letters, cards from my wife and mother, all of the I Love You's......

Jami's hand print from when…

I wonder how many more love notes I will find from my wife Jami.

Today another one popped up and it was from around last Christmas and it read.

"Have a great day today love, and I will miss you my love.

I Love you my Dolly!"

It choked me up for several minutes.  I took some deep breaths, sat down, and I got this overall

positive feeling.  It was so very uplifting.  I sat and just spoke out the words, "I love you too Jami".

More than the memories, and…

Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind.

--Michael Ballard your friendly GGNN Reporter on the move every hour on the hour with the latest GGNN News!

This message was pre-recorded because it was impossible to record it afterwards.......

My wife Jami's birthday was yesterday, 10-13-11.

Our son Nicholas and me didn't have a cake, we had her favorite, M&M cookies.

It was somewhat of a difficult day but not really!  It was more of a challenge.  A challenge to be brave, courageous, and committed to getting through it (her birthday) I made it a goal when today arrived to celebrate this day, no matter how difficult it was, the way she would want us to.  And…

Last night, my 7 year old son Nicholas turned to me and said, "Daddy, I can't miss mommy too much because she's right here!  And he pointed to his head.  I told him, baby boy, your heart is in your chest.  He said, "I know, but I've been having heartburn and thinking of Mommy makes it better!"

I have a lot to learn from my child.

Michael

I have been thinking a lot recently about the years before I lost my Momma Rose and my wife Jami.  

Can recall feeling very lucky for quite a few years that nothing big has happened yet to anyone in my immediate family.

My life was caught up just like everyone else's.  Getting the kids up and ready for school, getting to work, shopping, getting paid, paying bills, going broke, working out, calling Jami from work, getting back home, talking to the squirrels (when my wife was mad…

Back on August 8th 2011, my post mentioned that I was seeing many Cardinals in my backyard, so many that I couldn't even count them.  Hadn't seen one in the front yard I don't think ever. Then while I was standing outside talking to my mother in law on the phone one day, I mentioned all of the Cardinals in the backyard to her.  She advised me that when my wife (Jami) was a child she would see a Cardinal and yell out "Redbird Redbird" and scare them away.  After she told me of this, I…

The stage of Grief that most of us may fall into, and maybe get stuck in, is the anger stage. 

I have to be honest, I feel frustration more than anger, or maybe the frustration is the anger, and it probably is the stress/distress or frustration/anger from the grief.  Whatever it is, my love for my wife and my mother I know will get me through that phase in a healthy way, and come to think of it, maybe through the entire grief.  I have a little boy to raise on my own, and the last…

Today I jump started a neighbors car.  Pushed another car into a gas station that ran out of gas.

And loaded up a love seat to take to my step-daughters apartment.   

It is an extremely great feeling to lend a helping hand to others but I am staying home the rest of the day, too dang tired!!!

Anything to take our minds off of grief is fine by me!!!!

Try to make it a good weekend everyonell!

Michael 

While we're alive, our lives are a lesson to be learned.

When we lose someone very close to us,

the real learning begins........

I will always keep a #2 pencil handy!

grief [griːf]

Going out for a burger today, just after the Butterfly shadow incident.  Rollin' down the road looking for a bite to eat!

Then the grief wave hits, I was THINKING about being alone, FEELING alone,  even though I have my child to myself....must FEEL sorry for myself, that's selfish.  I shouldn't THINK this way, do I really FEEL this way?  It's making me FEEL not so good...THINKING this way.  I miss my wife and mom, FEELINGS of much sadness engulf me....I am living a life without…