Today was a better day than yesterday. I knew that if I gave in to the feelings lurking in the back of my mind that they would somehow consume my entire day and I would still be in that neverending fog. Perhaps today was better because I had alot to do or because I am slowly coming to grips with the idea that my sister will never return. The latter scares me and part of me tries to ignore that fact for as long as possible. Do you think that tomorrow will be better than today?

It will be exactly 1 year on December 13th since I had lost my 15 year old sister tragically. I am not looking forward to this date because I dont know I will deal with this. Plus the Holidays are soon behind. It has been almost 1 year and the trial date is not even posted. I feel like i will at least have a minimun amount of closure after the court and crimanl charges are finished. This process takes way to long.

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I still feel as though I am in a fog even though it has been four weeks since my sister was so tragically taken from my family. This has been the most difficult thing I've had to endure in my life. My sister had a head on collision with a driver who slid/ swerved into her lane killing her instantly. He is fine and hasn't been charged. The accident was caused due to icy road conditions the police claim. This has not been enough for my parents, my brother and I. We are left with this…

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Maybe it will just help to write this out. My 67 year old mother passed away unexpectedly the day after my 40th birthday. My Dad has been battling lung cancer all year. My Mom has always been a 'sickly' person who quite enjoyed getting attention from the doctors. I can't say that we had the best relationship - I know she meant well, but she was quite abusive when I was a kid and manipulative as I became an adult. My Dad has always been the quiet one to standby and let it all happen. About…

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i lost my mom on may 14, 2010. it was a murder suicide. the guy that killed her was her ex that was with her for about 9 years. he cheated on her and so she decided to leave him and move on with her life about a couple of months later she found a guy and she was really happy the guy treated her the way she deserved to be treated he brought her flowers he even brought me flowers too lol. he pampered her she was finally happy and the guy got so jealous because he saw she was moving on… Continue

Today is november 15. Yesterday was my little boys 25th birthday. He was killed one month before his thirteenth birthday. I thought by now the pain would'nt be so bad but guess what, I was wrong again! But I must admit it does get easier in different ways. I think maybe it's time. Time must be the only way to survive this whole thing. Oh sure a persoon couldd quit but that generally doesn't turn out so good in the end. You could get locked up in a physc ward but trust me that makes the process… Continue

It is now six weeks since my heart was torn in half. The unbearable pain of that moment is healing, just as one heals after major surgery.

I may be alive, but I am not living, I am existing. The only emotion I come close to feeling is the pain form losing Nanette, but it is so unbearable I run from it.

Things like this are supposed to happen to other people, not my family. But this time we are the other people and I am lost, lonely and so very, very sad to even consider it is…

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When I open "My Page" the picture of my beautiful wife full of life greets me and seeing it feels like she is still here.

Acceptance is still a long journey for me, I cannot comprehend life without her. But every day the reality hits and knocks the wind out of me.

You can see the impact just driving by our house. Here it is November 7th and there are piles of leaves in both the front and back yards. Something I would never have let happen when Nanette was here. She made me want…

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The Angels gathered near your bed,

so very close to you.

For they knew the pain and suffering

that you were going through.

I thought about so many things,

as I held tightly to your hand.

Oh, how I wished that you were

strong and happy once again.

But your eyes were looking homeward, 


to that place beyond… Continue

And the days seem to get longer

As the nights stay the same

I wish I could see your face…

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4 weeks ago i lost my best friend in the world to suicide. she commit suicide with her girlfriend on september 28 2010. she was 17. a few days ago was her 18th birthday, i went to it and laughed at some jokes and memories we had of her..and then i cried till my eyes burned. i've been sick since the day she left me, and i don't know what to do anymore..