November 2011 Blog Posts (41)

I am becoming to realize ...

I am becoming to realize that its just the "two" of us.

Yesterday, I took my son to the park. I got him on a swing when a couple (mother & father) along with their baby approached me and got their baby on the other swing. I am pushing my son and they are pushing theirs. They are all laughing and enjoying each other and their baby. I felt so lonely and uncomfortable. I realized that now it was just my son and myself. No more of my husband, No more Dad to my son. It felt like an…

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Added by Amanda Ab on November 30, 2011 at 12:52pm — 6 Comments

A song I've heard a thousand times, but never really paid attention to the words...

All Things Must Pass by George Harrison

Sunrise doesn't last all morning

A cloudburst doesn't last all day

Seems love is up and has left you with no warning

Its not always going to be this grey



All things must pass

All things must pass away



Sunset doesn't last all evening

A mind can blow those clouds away

After all this,my love is up and must be leaving

Its not…
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Added by MIchael A Ballard on November 29, 2011 at 11:50pm — 2 Comments

Post Thanksgiving sadness

I have been feeling sad since Thanksgiving. I was busy with cousins on Thanksgiving and the night following, but eating the leftovers I brought home has made me feel lonely. I always brought the leftovers to Ken's house and we ate them together. They would have been gone sooner than just me eating them. Although he broke up with me a several times, we were always together Thanksgiving weekend. Not always on the holiday itself, but for the weekend. And I am really missing him not being here…

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Added by Sandy G on November 29, 2011 at 9:58pm — 5 Comments

Nature

Listen to nature and your heart!.  

Healing isn't far away.........

 

Michael

Added by MIchael A Ballard on November 29, 2011 at 8:47pm — 3 Comments

Missing My MOM

To  everyone    its    going  on  3 years     for my  mom  being gone  and  i  still  miss her dearly.  daring     this  christmas season    even  more ..... all  i   do  is  think  back   as  i was a child  and    growing  up   i  give thanks    for  her   to  get  me   out   of  the  fostor  home    bcause    it   was  a   great  life   she  had  with  me  for  83 years  .    as i  find  my   self weeping   again   and    knowing  she is in a  t   there   sure   will not  better place   …

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Added by sharon on November 28, 2011 at 12:32pm — No Comments

A piece of me died too

I lost my mom on Sept 23rd,2011 to End stage liver cancer. I guess the best way to describe how I feel is that the day she died, a piece of me did too. I feel so hollow without her. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be 31 years old without a mother. I have 3 small children  12,8,4 . I feel like a little kid that has been left in the store, forgotten or something. I feel so alone without her, she was my best friend. I am trying this online support group out, in the hopes that I…

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Added by Amanda A. on November 27, 2011 at 5:57am — 5 Comments

One Thanksgiving at a time........

Made it through one Thanksgiving....a lifetime more to go! There were many many tears yesterday! My own and those of my other children and of Katannas dad! But we did it and I am proud of them for it! I am lucky to Have them! So I did find my reason to be thankful even though a whole chunk of me is missing!

Added by Jennifer Gerrish on November 25, 2011 at 9:55am — 1 Comment

Thankful Day

I am thankful for what i have. I am thankful for having a beatiful son, Sebastian, who is the result of the strong love my husband and I shared. I am thankful for Sebastian looking exactly the same as his daddy. I am thankful for having food to eat, a sweater to wear, a bed to sleep in, and a beatiful and most amazing/supportive mother. But can't help to think and shift my mind more towards all of the things I no longer have. I dont have my father here with me. I dont have my husband either…

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Added by Amanda Ab on November 24, 2011 at 4:41pm — 1 Comment

Heavy Hearted Thanksgiving

I sit here trying so hard to remember that I have so much to be thankful. For on this Thanksgiving Day! I have six children still with me on this earth! I have many friends and family that love me! I have a home and food! But All I can think is I don't have her! When I lost my husband Mikey it tore me up! I was alone with three small children and lost my love! The man I was suppose to be with for all times! That was and is still hard 14 years later! I survived though! This is tearing me up! So… Continue

Added by Jennifer Gerrish on November 24, 2011 at 10:38am — 2 Comments

We're only human, and thank God Turkey's don't fly!

 

We are only human. That's what I resort to when things get rough.

I give myself a break for being human, having grief, ups and downs, and just about anything else!

I figure if I didn't have these weaknesses I might as well wear a red cape and fly around and rescue people from criminals and other misfits! 

And being only human is a real tiny thing compared to the universe and especially beyond that!

It's astounding how a bad thing like grief feels so huge,…

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Added by MIchael A Ballard on November 24, 2011 at 12:39am — 3 Comments

paulette

I lost my husband of 30 yrs this past Feb..Iam having a very hard time accepting that he is gone and that I have to take baby steps to go forward and Iam trying...I visited his grave today as I know Thanksgiving Day would be too hard for me as its 35min. away from here and i didn't want to be on the road crying...our first thanksgiving not together I know I have to get thru this but my God it hurts so bad...any encouragement from you all will be helpful....sorry

paulette…

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Added by Paulette Williams on November 23, 2011 at 3:31pm — 2 Comments

cant help the tears and envy towards others..

i have not been able to stop my tears since this morning. i hear, see all of the emotion in others for the holidays to come. i feel envy for those happy family's hosting dinners, getting together and looking forward to spending the holidays together. However, I must admitt, i too, was there just last year.

I cant help to see elderly grandfather's holding their grandchildren, or playing with them at the park. How i wish my father was here to do the same with my son. I see a young…

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Added by Amanda Ab on November 23, 2011 at 1:41pm — No Comments

My husband died last January 1st and this holidays are coming and surviving them is all I can think about. There are so many things that disturb me at this point.  Having my house renovated and some …

My husband died last January 1st and this holidays are coming and surviving them is all I can think about.

There are so many things that disturb me at this point.  Having my house renovated and some workman are so inappropriate.  I have to put men in there place when they get personal.  I am not comfortable with any type of flattery right now.  Most people understand and back off but there are a few who just seemed annoyed.

Anyway it was one of those days and it wasn't…

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Added by Christine Cupps on November 22, 2011 at 2:28am — No Comments

Life sucks after the death of my mom

I have tried and tried to find a dang  job, walked all over town today being sick with 102.1 temp. Still nothing out there bills are going to be due I personally, want to give up. I have nowhere to turn to get rent money and power bill money,F$^&$ everything I AM SO FREAKING DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ..... What else is there left to do? Still sicker then a dog, and worried about everything, I seriously need a miracle in itself. Lord if you are listening please please help me find a job and a…

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Added by tara glasshoff on November 22, 2011 at 2:04am — 1 Comment

Feeling guilty for feeling happy.

I was busy today, bathed the animals, brushed them all out which is a  huge job with 1 himilayan cat, 1 maltese, 2 poodle crosses.  After everyone was blown dry and looking good we played inside for awhile before one of the dogs, the 4 year old foster Ive only had for a month started to dance around letting me know she wanted to go outside.  It was great, she was not good in the house when I got her so this was a giant step for her.  As I was bouncing and clapping and humming in excitement…

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Added by anna l. on November 21, 2011 at 7:51pm — 4 Comments

The Holidays are here. Oohh Crap!....

We have to know what to expect for the holidays, and that would be pain from

that empty space of whose missing.  It's important to have someone to share the pain

with, if not a friend or family member, there are various support groups like this On LIne 

Grief Support, or churches, libraries, and others available in your community.

The holidays were always comforting and frustrating for me, but this year will definitely be challenging and painful.  We just have to…

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Added by MIchael A Ballard on November 21, 2011 at 12:55am — 2 Comments

Letter to my Love

Dear Steve,

 

You always said, "you talk, I listen". You were a wonderful listener; goodness knows I am a talker at times. You not only listened, you also cared, heard, and understood. I so want to reach that part of you now, in these lonely days, in these moments where your presence is not only silent, but empty. I look for your essence and feel my own blindness, hear my own silent breath, feel unstoppable tears, falling,…

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Added by Christine Sutton on November 20, 2011 at 3:00pm — No Comments

Lament



I am feeling very stagnant.  I am going through a period of nothingness. There is so much to do: calls to make, purging and packing, getting the house on the market, probate, selling cars, furniture and much, much more…too much to remember or even think about. I am overwhelmed. Yes, some things are urgent, and doing nothing could backfire, but I am completely unmotivated to do anything today… except write.

Yesterday I brought out a box of winter clothes; sweaters, warm socks,…

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Added by Mariann Bamberger on November 19, 2011 at 3:30am — 1 Comment

losing a wife who was my lover friend and positive to hepatitis c and wwho is in a better place

my stpry began when i first met brenda....i totally fell in love with her.before we started a relationship she told me she had chronic hep c...i didnt care i still went on with my relationship a journey of love caring children one testing positive for this disease chronic hep c..brenda and i were devastated to say the least...well of course we wanted the best care for her so we brought her to childrens hospital in penna.he was a great doctor till 3 years later he informed us he was leaving…

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Added by bobby paskitti on November 18, 2011 at 9:53pm — No Comments

A wish for peace to all OLGS members

To my friends on OLGS, I wish you all of the love that your lost loved ones still have for you, and I love you all too!

We are not here to suffer, we were not put here to suffer, so let the light shine in and shine on you and your families and your lives!   I believe our loved ones are in the sunshine, in the rain, in the air, in the earth's scent, and just basically in nature.  They have become a greater and more beautiful part of this world, a bigger part of us all!  

And…

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Added by MIchael A Ballard on November 18, 2011 at 8:00pm — No Comments

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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
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