Last night, my 7 year old son Nicholas turned to me and said, "Daddy, I can't miss mommy too much because she's right here!  And he pointed to his head.  I told him, baby boy, your heart is in your chest.  He said, "I know, but I've been having heartburn and thinking of Mommy makes it better!"

I have a lot to learn from my child.

Michael

I have been thinking a lot recently about the years before I lost my Momma Rose and my wife Jami.  

Can recall feeling very lucky for quite a few years that nothing big has happened yet to anyone in my immediate family.

My life was caught up just like everyone else's.  Getting the kids up and ready for school, getting to work, shopping, getting paid, paying bills, going broke, working out, calling Jami from work, getting back home, talking to the squirrels (when my wife was mad…

Back on August 8th 2011, my post mentioned that I was seeing many Cardinals in my backyard, so many that I couldn't even count them.  Hadn't seen one in the front yard I don't think ever. Then while I was standing outside talking to my mother in law on the phone one day, I mentioned all of the Cardinals in the backyard to her.  She advised me that when my wife (Jami) was a child she would see a Cardinal and yell out "Redbird Redbird" and scare them away.  After she told me of this, I…

The stage of Grief that most of us may fall into, and maybe get stuck in, is the anger stage. 

I have to be honest, I feel frustration more than anger, or maybe the frustration is the anger, and it probably is the stress/distress or frustration/anger from the grief.  Whatever it is, my love for my wife and my mother I know will get me through that phase in a healthy way, and come to think of it, maybe through the entire grief.  I have a little boy to raise on my own, and the last…

Today I jump started a neighbors car.  Pushed another car into a gas station that ran out of gas.

And loaded up a love seat to take to my step-daughters apartment.   

It is an extremely great feeling to lend a helping hand to others but I am staying home the rest of the day, too dang tired!!!

Anything to take our minds off of grief is fine by me!!!!

Try to make it a good weekend everyonell!

Michael 

While we're alive, our lives are a lesson to be learned.

When we lose someone very close to us,

the real learning begins........

I will always keep a #2 pencil handy!

grief [griːf]

Going out for a burger today, just after the Butterfly shadow incident.  Rollin' down the road looking for a bite to eat!

Then the grief wave hits, I was THINKING about being alone, FEELING alone,  even though I have my child to myself....must FEEL sorry for myself, that's selfish.  I shouldn't THINK this way, do I really FEEL this way?  It's making me FEEL not so good...THINKING this way.  I miss my wife and mom, FEELINGS of much sadness engulf me....I am living a life without…

It's amazing that I don't think I am going crazy.  Saw a butterfly shadow today on the pavement of the parking lot when walking to my car to go to lunch from work. It was about a minute later, after looking around 6-10 different times for the butterfly that I finally spotted a monarch butterfly just when I didn't expect to ever see more than the shadow.

It was just weird in a fun kind of way!  My wife Jami was a lot like that.  That just never happened to me before.

The shadow…

Grieving response is about coming to terms with, and possibly learning from, the brokenness and sorrow that come over us. Grieving response is about relearning how to be ourselves and to live meaningfully again, carrying the pain of missing those we mourn, returning to what still works from life as it used to be, and stretching into the necessarily new shapes of our daily lives and futures. It is also often about personal growth, living in fuller appreciation of what we previously took for…

Life is the classroom

Grief is the final exam

How we turn out depends on what we've learned

- Michael Ballard

"If grief was as easy as pie, then life would be a piece of cake."

 --   M Ballard

"I want people to understand that life is everlasting.  Everything that happens in your life has a purpose.  There is no one you are close to who ever dies.  Everyone just goes on to another stage of life that runs parallel to this one.  Be at peace with yourself and fulfill your mission, knowing that your stay here is temporary, and that your are doing something here to fulfill your spiritual purpose.  Tune in more to yourself  and understand more within yourself so that you can find your…