April 2009 Blog Posts (22)

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Do you think he knows...

I watered the morning glories in the butterfly garden I started in the spring. It won't be long until they are blooming beautiful blue breakfast plates with soft pink throats. I planted them because they are Jack's favorite flower. While I was talking to Jack's big sister this evening, I told her about the little garden and she asked, "Do you think he knows?"



"About the garden?" I want to believe that he does.



"Well. That, yes. But. Do you think he knows how much I miss… Continue

Added by Margaret R. on April 30, 2009 at 7:14pm — 1 Comment

Private Family Cemetery

Hi, Just wondering if anyone else has or has thought of establishing a private cemetery?

We have- It took a year of red tape- or rather a year for me to do all the leg work, etc etc. due to the local supervisors not having answers- although supportive.



At any rate - a year after my sons passing we brought him home, to our family resting place.

I understand this isn't for everyone however it has helped me & our family. And when we had Brad moved home, our priest lead us… Continue

Added by Kar on April 29, 2009 at 7:40am — 4 Comments

A couple of memories...

Before you read any further, take a look at the image below. What does it invoke in you? Happy childhood memories, memories maybe of a favourite dessert? It makes me smile for an entirely different reason...explained below.







You see...banoffee pie, in a roundabout way, was my first contact with Chris. There was a celebration going on on the George Harrison forum for his birthday (64th, I think...) Anyway, we were having a kind of… Continue

Added by Shady Wilbury on April 27, 2009 at 3:40pm — 2 Comments

Just Breathe

2Am and I'm still awake writing this song

If i get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me threaten' the life it belongs to.

And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd

Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud

And I know that you'll use them however you want to.



But you can't jump the track

We're like cars on a cable

And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,

No one can find the rewind button now

Sing it if you… Continue

Added by Diana, Grief Recovery Coach on April 27, 2009 at 3:10am — 1 Comment

Thank you for caring

I couldn't beleive the support that I have recieved so far when I logged on today. In the death of our daughter I keep telling myself that we were lucky to have such a special relationship with her from the time she was young until the she was taken away from us. But that doesn't really help. The hole that is left in my heart is much to large to heal. I have more bad days than good. My family say I should get over it. Are they right? It has been almost 8 years now. The support I received here… Continue

Added by Katherine Ellis on April 26, 2009 at 5:54pm — 2 Comments

" IT'S NOT OKAY " - " I'm NOT OKAY "

Hi, My name is Karen...



I come here with a very heavy heart, Heavy for the life our 16 yr old son never got to finish, Heavy for my family, heavy for I am destroyed , and heavy knowing that this site is full of others out there feeling such similar pain.



I find it so hard to connect with others - in - lets say real world "that wonderful place I use to know"

When life was wonderful with light hearted fun & full of our children's smiles.



I find it so… Continue

Added by Kar on April 26, 2009 at 4:14pm — 2 Comments

April- told with the greatest respect, I hope.

I wrote this account on what must have been a "good" day. I was obviously thinking straight. I can't think of any other reason why I'd be able to sit and type it in one. It tells the story of the final week of Chris' life, from my point of view.



April

In order to tell this story with the respect that it deserves, I must state that there were good times before the part where the real story begins. Before April 3, 2007, it was paradise. Life was good for me, and I didn't… Continue

Added by Shady Wilbury on April 26, 2009 at 1:58pm — 2 Comments

Over two years..I ought to be getting somewhere, right?

Hello, all.



I came here because I lost a dear friend to cancer in April 2007. Although I only knew her through an Internet forum (which one doesn't really matter, but it was a George Harrison forum) she became a close friend of mine, and we exchanged emails and IMs over a period of a year and two weeks. I strongly feel that after two years I should be moving on, but I lack something which I need in order to do so. I'm preoccupied by the memories of the last week of Chris' life… Continue

Added by Shady Wilbury on April 26, 2009 at 12:09pm — 8 Comments

A New blog on end-of-life issues, grief,and loss

Hello,



I'm a new member to the group and I'd like to introduce Lessons for the Living, a blog for people committed to the idea of hospice and those struggling with grief or loss. Since it goes beyond the concerns of this group, I thought it would be appropriate to host it independently. But there will be many articles you might find helpful.



For the past four years I've been a columnist for the Hospice Volunteer… Continue

Added by Stan Goldberg, Ph.D. on April 26, 2009 at 9:55am — No Comments

My Daughter

Greetings Everyone,

I have come here hoping to find some peace. I not only lost a daughter, but I lost my best friend. Irene was 27 year and 29 days old when she died in front of us that day. Her anniversary is coming up in June but her birthday was in May so this time of year gets hard for me. On top of that my husband had cancer and we're just getting through that. I'm feeling so alone and drepressed so I thought I'd like to reach out and see what happens. This will be the 8th year… Continue

Added by Katherine Ellis on April 26, 2009 at 2:10am — 9 Comments

No words to write

I don't have the words to write, but I miss my mom terribly. I know she is with Jesus now and happier than she ever has been, never to cry or hurt again, but it's hard to not be able to ask her how it is! I want to hear her tell me about what she's been up to and how she's feeling and what she did today and what she has going on tomorrow! I want to hear her say I love you. I want her to be able to hear me and tell me everything is okay and share with me encouragement and understanding like she… Continue

Added by Katrina Moore on April 24, 2009 at 9:17pm — 4 Comments

bomb on my chest

my family is probably the most messed up in the world well i guess everyone feels that way.I have a sisiter who is an alcholic and a brother who is a meth addict i care for my bed ridden grandmother and my uncle who has cancer and aa stroke in a wheelchair with no help from his kids and my mother who just lost my dad and is going thru the grief process as well as batteling both of my siblings for what they feel like they deserve.then after all this in my life i have to find time to grieve… Continue

Added by Robert Tinsley on April 24, 2009 at 12:24pm — No Comments

my mom. <3

she passed away alone, in PA. we are all from nj, but after a divorce and financial issues she went to PA. i brought her to the bus station to go there. i even bought her the ticket because i didn't have anywhere for her to stay, i was living with my boyfriend at that time. this causes most of my guilt. i feel like, if i had just kept her here, and helped her, she would be alive right now. my mom was troubled. she was the smartest woman i will ever know, but she kept falling harder. it seemed… Continue

Added by nicole baumann on April 23, 2009 at 11:25pm — 7 Comments

truth

truth is this everything you ever done good or bad and you know everything about yourself after a loss of magnitude you were never willing to except you or i should say I have great difficulty inthinking of everything i ever could have done different its to late so it just seems to build on your mind and weigh you down maybe it should have been different but it wasnt so is that my fault or just life u tell me

Added by Robert Tinsley on April 23, 2009 at 4:22pm — 2 Comments

On Life After Death, Dr. Kübler-Ross

Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was an internationally renowned physician, author, speaker, and expert on death and dying. She was listed as one of the 100 most important thinkers of the century by Time magazine in 1999, and received 20 honorary degrees for her achievements. She published 20 books on death and dying, and her book On Death and Dying was named one of the 100 most influential books of the century. She was included in the International Biographical Centre’s list of the foremost women of… Continue

Added by Diana, Grief Recovery Coach on April 20, 2009 at 8:51pm — No Comments

Word Vomit...just typing as I feel... Sometimes I miss her And sometimes I don't I feel as though I am Disgracing Her memory When I forget Even for a moment Sometimes I go days Without thinking of …

Word Vomit...just typing as I feel...





Sometimes I miss her

And sometimes I don't

I feel as though I am

Disgracing

Her memory

When I forget

Even for a moment

Sometimes I go days

Without thinking of her

Then she comes to mind

And I hate myself for forgetting

Usually I want to remember

I want to remember her life

Her amazing personality

The awesome person she was

But when I remember her life

I also… Continue

Added by e d on April 19, 2009 at 11:57pm — 2 Comments

Red Sea Places

For some reason, this just spoke to me. Maybe it's the phrase "Red-Sea-place in your life", maybe it's the knowledge that I'm in that place where I just have to walk through this grief.



Thought some of you might like this, too.





When you come to the Red-Sea-place in your life,

When, in spite of all you can do,

There is no way round, there is no way back,

There is no other way but through:





Then know God with a soul serene,

And the… Continue

Added by Margaret R. on April 14, 2009 at 6:13pm — 2 Comments

Remembering (a poem by me)

your memory haunting me

your face flashing in front of my eyes

your voice quoting napoleon dynamite

plays inside my head.

it's been so long

why do I still remember you like this

why do I picture your face

every time someone mentions cancer?

I love you

I loved you

but you were taken from me

by the god I am told loves me

why did he do that?

how loving can he really be?

How could he let someone

as amazing as you… Continue

Added by e d on April 13, 2009 at 8:18pm — 2 Comments

just a little late.

Alright this is my first poem ever... i've never ever written one before... please comment. its about my loss, my grampa, my bestfriend. i miss you.



As 6:30 am rings,

I shut off the alarm

I'm facing fatigue in a ring,

and fatigue got the best of me.



I was a little late.

thinking this wasen't the day

today wasen't the date,

that you'd pass away.



You left us here.

expecting us to move on.

I forgot to tell this in your… Continue

Added by J-F Laberge on April 11, 2009 at 8:50pm — 2 Comments

Your Eternal Self

I absolutely love this book.

Your Eternal Self

Added by Diana, Grief Recovery Coach on April 9, 2009 at 7:13am — No Comments

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