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Jason's Blog – March 2016 Archive (5)
More tired, more grief
It seems like I have not been sleeping well. I am physically exhausted but cannot fall asleep. The nights and the mornings are the worst.
Throughout the day now I breakdown more often in tears but I do recover faster.
I am sad and angry all of the time.
I wish she hadn't died.
Throughout the day now I breakdown more often in tears but I do recover faster.
I am sad and angry all of the time.
I wish she hadn't died.
The sad and the guilt
The sad and the guilt are hitting me hard last night and today.
I am so sad she is not alive.
I feel guilty that I could not save her.
She was my wife. She was my responsibility.
I should have taken better care of her.
I am so sad she is not alive.
I feel guilty that I could not save her.
She was my wife. She was my responsibility.
I should have taken better care of her.
Added by Jason on March 20, 2016 at 7:47am — No Comments
Listening to music
Hadn't been able to listen to music until tonight.
It didn't destroy me the way I thought it would.
The memories come flooding back but I didn't break down like I thought I would.
Am I in shock?
Am I numb?
Is something wrong with me?
Or is this part of the grief.
My heart feels like it has a chunk missing now. But it no longer feels like there is a knife sticking out of it.
It didn't destroy me the way I thought it would.
The memories come flooding back but I didn't break down like I thought I would.
Am I in shock?
Am I numb?
Is something wrong with me?
Or is this part of the grief.
My heart feels like it has a chunk missing now. But it no longer feels like there is a knife sticking out of it.
Added by Jason on March 18, 2016 at 12:50am — 2 Comments
Day 20
Well, it happened. After only 20 days both kids are sick. Great. They weren't letting me get any sleep before. Now I'm up half the night with sick kids.
I don't know if I have the stamina. I am so tired.
I am having problems accepting what has happened. I imagine the kids are too.
What a living nightmare.
I don't know if I have the stamina. I am so tired.
I am having problems accepting what has happened. I imagine the kids are too.
What a living nightmare.
Added by Jason on March 17, 2016 at 1:26am — No Comments
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