Hi! My sister died suddenly on August11,2012. I was living in the states and just accepted a post in Paris to work as a teacher. I flew back to bury my sister and be with my family. My new job started on August 25. My gut told me to wait to relocate to a brand new country. However, everyone said that I should move forward and my sister would have wanted me to go. I reluctantly left for Paris and began a new life. I felt there was something off about the cause of her death. I notified the… Continue

My older sister. A shaping tool, like the one wood carver's use to make sculptures. 

We never realize it but sometimes the people who get underneath our skin the most...like an annoying sibling who has absolutely no fear of telling us exactly what they think of us, are the best thing that could happen to us. It's only when they're not there anymore you realize that every time you scraped yourself against them in a debate or a squabble, they were shaping you in ways you didn't even…

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I can't believe how lost I feel these days. I have never felt like this before. I have always been the strong one who holds everybody up, but now I feel so broken and the one person who was able to hold me together is the person I'm missing so much. For the last 17 years he was the person I could depend on no matter what, even when we were apart from one another and got a dissolution he was still there whenever I needed him. Those that knew either of us well were not surprised when we…

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Sunday October 23, 2011 I was at work at around 1:45 pm when my phone popped up saying I had a facebook message from my neighbor Katie, the message was sent to me and my brother and said something along the lines of "I need one of you to call me asap it's kind of an emergency" I thought to myself maybe she was locked out or forgot to turn off the oven, or lock the doors.. worst case scenario I thought something was wrong with her house or her family. I called her to see what was going on and…

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IT IS OVER 2 YEARS SINCE MY WIFE DIED.   THE GRIEF THAT I WAS SUFFERING HAS ONLY GROWN WORSE. MY CHILDREN WHO LIVE IN OTHER STATES HARDLY CALL ME.   I SPEND THE DAYS WRITTING POEMS ABOUT MY WIFE.  TODAY I SENT 4 POEMS INTO THE COPYRIGHT OFFICE.   I AM A VETERAN AND IT WAS EASIER IN COMBAT THEN GO THRU EACH DAY IN MY DEEP GRIEF.   I WENT FOR HELP BUT NOTHING HAD HELP ME IN ANYWAY.    THE DAYS COME AND THE DAYS GO BUT MY GRIEF CONTINUES TO GROW.   THANKS FOR READING.   HAVE A GOOD WEEK.     …

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Hollister died on December 23. He left just before Christmas. While he was in the hospital, all through December, he'd been preparing (behind my back) for Christmas. One day, I caught him with a large wad of money. He told me he wanted to get me something really special for Christmas. While we were talking, he asked if there was something really special I wanted. I told him that I had been wanting an expensive digital camera for some time - there was just never enough money, so I kept…

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so this is where I get the chance to write all of my feelings. and i am going to do just that. For the past 10 months, since my husband's passing, I have been stucked in this house literally 24/7 besides going to work and buying necessities. Yesterday, there was a small get together for my husband's aunt, so after so much thinking, thinking, I decided to go along with My son... I knew that my husband would have wanted us to go, so that kept me moving forward with the plan. I took the step…

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Hello my blog. It's been a long time since I have spoke to you. I must say I have missed you. For a long time I thought I might delete you and ever come back to this sight. I felt like no one wanted to hear about the good and about survival, but I have learned that to each his own. I am at a crossroad in my life. I have learned that not everyone reaches this crossroad at the same time. I am a very hardheaded kinda gal. I have been through so much over the years that it makes my head spin…

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