"I'm wondering if Myrna is well. Happy new year to Myrna and everybody."
Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
-
stephanie worley
- Female
- Altavista, VA
- United States
- Blog Posts
- Discussions
- Groups (2)
- Photos
- Photo Albums
- Videos
Gifts Received
stephanie worley has not received any gifts yet
stephanie worley's Page
Profile Information
- About Me:
- Right now, all i can say about myself is that I am heartbroken and paralyzed with grief from losing my mom, Feb 1st, 2018. 12 days of pain that I never imagined could be so agonizing.
- About my Loss:
- My Mom passed away 12 days ago from complications resulting from contracting the bacteria c-dff in her colon. She was diagnosed on December 28th, 2017 and everything went downhill rapidly. I am full of pain, anger, confusion right now. I feel that her death was unnecessary due to the bacteria not being treated aggressively enough despite the fact that she was getting NO better but worse, day by day. Mom had been in a nursing Home for 2 years recovering from a total hip replacement and pneumonia and she was in the initial first stages of dementia but that was minor. i live 2 minutes from the nursing home so mom came home with me weekly. we talked daily. She walked with a walker...she was not wheel chair bound or any limitations of that kind. Despite constantly questioning why mom seemed worse daily, it seemed NO ONE would listen to me! The third week into this illness, they finally granted my request and sent her to the ER. This is where the worse nightmare of my life began. We went from the ER to the next day making decisions about emergency surgery to remove her colon because she was now SEPTIC. She had Toxic Megacolon and her colon was going to rupture at any sec. She was put on life support, rushed to surgery to do a loop bowel and colostomy as well as a illeostomy. Mom had her eyes open for 2 days after surgery, squeezing my fingers, following simple commands and even mouthing "i love you too" every time I told her..."i love you Mom". The next day she coded in front of me, they revived her quickly but nothing improved in the slightest after that. She had multiple strokes, she was paralyzed on her left side, Her blood pressure was so low they had to keep her on a medication just to keep her blood pressure from plummeting. Her kidneys started to shut down. She was so swollen that her body was weeping fluids, through her skin....all of this was from becoming septic from the out of control c-diff. Her temp was 104-105. Her heart rate stayed high and B/P low. I watched my best friend fight this battle for 11 days before making the gut wrenching decision to remove the life support and let her go. The worse position I've ever been in in my life. The doctors gave her 0 chance of survival at this point. At 11:30pm, jan 31st, They turned off the drips, all but the ones to keep her comfortable. Then, They removed the ventilator. for 3 hours and one minute, my mom fought to stay alive. I held her in my arms and assured her that I would be ok, as long as my son as well, that she could let go and go Home with Jesus. I begged her to not suffer anymore. I could not stand seeing her struggle for every breath. Finally at 2:31 am, she let go. I remained on the pillow beside of her, I still could not bring myself to let go of her. The only peace i have is that she is finally reunited with my only sibling that died when he was 36, My dad, mom's brother, my grand parents.....I'm not a stranger to grief. BUT NO GRIEF HAS EVER FELT LIKE THIS ONE! I still hear her breathing whenever my surroundings are quiet. "the death rattle", that sound tortures me. I could keep writing but I am at a point of "the shakes" now so i will stop for the time. I just know that someone here must know how terrible i feel...i cant be the only one...i may be 41 years old but I will always want my Mama!! I miss you and love you Mama more than the world...until we meet again, save a place for me.
Groups
-
Traumatic loss of an onl…
37 members
-
Loss of a loved one to a…
4 members
-
Being the Other Woman/Ot…
45 members
-
Grief Counseling
141 members
-
Sibling Loss
10 members
-
Losing My Sister
5 members
-
Losing a Sister
94 members
-
Funeral Service
2 members
-
I miss my Mom!
751 members
-
LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITE…
15 members
-
Loss of a child In memor…
29 members
-
Too Young To Die
17 members
-
Multiple Losses Group
324 members
-
Zoom Grief Support
39 members
-
Orphaned Adults
80 members
Latest Activity
My Fathers Loss
Many years ago, I lost my father after his battle with colon cancer that later spread to his bones. The grief stayed with me longer than I expected. Ambrosia Behavioral Health helped me work through that loss, understand my emotions, and find healthier ways to cope and move forward. https://www.ambrosiatc.comSee More
"Professional help gives you a safe space to talk, understand your emotions, and learn healthy ways to cope. It can make grief feel less overwhelming and easier to manage over time. https://www.ambrosiatc.com"
Traumatic loss of an only child
I started this group so that people who have lost their only child or the only child that remained, as in my case, could come together because I believe people that did have a child or children who now have none have special issues.
Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide
If you have lost a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide please share your story or feelings here. Share the love and beauty of the one you lost. Losing someone any of these ways is not natural and can be hard to understand and ask why? I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago. She also suffered from major depression. Her doctor got her hooked on pain medication and she was addicted most of my life. These doctors who were suppose to help her ended up killing her in the end. I also…See More
© 2026 Created by Ninja.
Powered by
Comment Wall
You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!
Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community