rita carroll
  • Female
  • La Grange, KY
  • United States
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About Me:
i feel numb
About my Loss:
Today is July 4 and I HATE it. My 19 year old never woke that morning, and I have to look like I'm on top of things and doing good for my other kids. Last night I read Elizabeth edwards book on the loss of her child who was so much like mine. It was like words to a starving person.
Today was 9 years, this happened in the middle of a divorce after 39 years. My advice to anyone getting a divorce if they have children is, just in the million to one chance a child should die during it, you can never be normal again. It's the one risk in life not worth taking. Death brings sometime silly guilt, but knowing THIS may not have happened is too much of a price.
Today was the 9th year, and first time I was able to even dress, plus I got to church.
The grief of the marriage was horrible, because I loved it so, but never felt I knew the man because he, now I know was unknowable.
5 yrs layer my fiancee died in a freak accident, now 4 yrs later, just 2 mo. ago, once agin my happy healthy fiancee, just fell dead in front of me after a fun day. It still hasn't sunk in. Nothing could be worse than the loss of my child, except suicide. I would have endured anykind of physical violence or adultries if or anything if my child was here. We had the same type relationship beautiful Elizabeth had with her son.
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Not looking forward to Christmas

It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
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