mrs stella laplante
  • Howard City, MI
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mrs stella laplante is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 16, 2022

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About Me:
I am a wreck. Iam a married mom of three. I am devastated every day ater disconnecting life support. In my heart and mind, I remind myself he was i agony, I loved him too much to see him that way, and we both had discussed the matter, and had many times agreed, not to let each other suffer o life support,y because there is no way to communicate, when ou are brain dead, and stuck in a hospital. i need help.mty son and nephew were in the room also, and my nephes never talks with me anymore,, and my son has anger towards me. I am really struggling.
About my Loss:
My beloved husband and I were INSEPARABLE or a 24 year relationship, 5 years as a team, and 19 years, legAlly united. He quite literally SAVED ME FROM A VERY DEADLY AND ABUSIVE MAN.I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. HE IS A VETERAN, AND MY BEST FRIEND OF ALL TIME.I have mourned him 2 and one half years. I have three kids living at home. One of them has rage against me.After my husband died, my 13 year old tried to commit suicide. She spent a month in a facility getting help. I know I must be strong, and g on. BUT EVERY 'DAY I PREFER DEATH. AND TO BE WITH HIM.I dont feel like i DESERVE TO LIVE, AND i feel like I am always empty . I even worry about whether he got to Heaven or not. He had a severe alcohol problem. We both had addiction issues. I know he LOVE JESUS, but one day, as I in my mind aid, "I WILL SEE YOU SOON, WHEN I GET TO HEAVEN," i heard a loud voice in my head yelling NO!!!!!I wondered, is he saying no, he isn't there yet, or, no he doesn't want to see me? Our marriage was on the rocks before he passed. We still loved each other though. I would never harm my husband. I am so mentally and emotionally dead. I start intensive grief therapy in a week. Every time I talk about it, I feel like my throat is closing. I cannot breathe.I worry about him. I love him so much. I am losing my mind about him.I AM A CHRISTIAN AND HE WAS TOO. So I am meant to rest easy Knowing he is with our beautiful savior! RIGHT??? SO THEN WHY AM I SO CONCERNED???I need to talk to others who have been there. I was kept from my husband the very day before he died, BECAUSE THE HOSPITAL SAID THEY WERE DOING A THIRD COVID TEST O HIM. I hat the hospital. I despised the head nurse,as she wouldn't let me lay with him the day before the day before he died.THAT DAY HE LAID HIS PRECIOUS HEAD IN MY HANDS TWICE. That day, he said GOODBYE. He was out of his mind, rambling, and seeing thins. IT WAS VERY DEPRESSING. I brought him a stuffed animal.He told me he saw his deceased cousin. no one but me was allowed in there, until the day he died, my cousin and son were allowed in. HE LOOKED LIKE HE HAD BEEN BUTCHERED. HIS MOUTH BRIGHT PINK AND PARCHED, AS A HARD CORE ALCOHOLIC THEY REFUSED TO GIVE HIM ALCOHOL,WIDE OPEN, HIS EYES I LOOKED INTO GLARING AHEAD AS IF NOT ABLE TO SEE, UNRESPONSIVE. IT WAS LIKE HELL. SEEING HIM THAT WAY WAS LIKE BEING IN THE PIT OF HELL Sometimes, I can feel him touch me. I live for those moments I LIVE FOR THEM. Sometimes i feel like he is here, watching over us, I CANNOT RECONCILE MYSELF THE PAIN IS TOO GREAT PRAY FOR ME AND MY KIDS PLEAS.ANYONE WHO AN UNDERSTAND PLEASE HELP ME.PRAY FOR MY GROWN SON, HE IS REALLY STRUGGLING, HE HAS GRIEF SUPPORT IN THREE WEEKS, AND PRAY FOR MY NEPHEW,. HE PRAYED OVER MY HUSBAND BEFORE HE PASSED.I know I did the only thing I could, BUT IT STILL IS KILLING ME! GOD BLESS YOU ALL IN JESUS NAME AMEN. Sincerely, Mrs stella laplante
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At 10:01pm on May 12, 2024, Erica Woodward said…

I need to have a word privately,Could you please get back to me on ( mrs.ericaw1@gmail.com)Thanks.

 
 
 

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dream moon JO B posted a blog post

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It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
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Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
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Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
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