melissa
  • Female
  • Salt Lake City, UT
  • United States
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About Me:
Im 36 married i have 6 kids ages from 19 to my new baby boy
About my Loss:
I just lost my mom a few days ago. She laid down to nap and never woke up my daughter and step dad found her she raised my daughter from 3 months to now due to many issues but my step dad found her laying her lips were blue he tried to help but died few hours before he found her my mom moved to Arizona after her mom passed in 2007 i never have been to my moms house we had a very difficult diffrent love my sister walk away from my mom for i have no idea but i loved my mom but i last tallked to her on nov16 when my boy was born and we got into it we always been like that but this time she sajd something about my son and the last thing i told her was i hate you i hope u die alone i never ment for those to be our last words i flew to home the day she died left alone got to her home and i just lost it my grandfather said she really loved you more than u know she just saw herself threw me and the things i was doing w my life and she did not know how to deal with that and she always said to him i love that girl . I never knew that and when my sister and aunt gof there w my sis friend there was no emotion no saddnes not a tear they went shopping hair done went to dinner and got drunk my sister i thought would hug me cry say goodbye no i went to dress my mom for her cremation and i just lost my mind again i didnt even recognize her she was laying down for so long and there was no makeup on her i had to step up and i did but i watched everyone say bye and it was no emotion again me n my grandfather daughter and step dad are the only ones who gave her that respect. She never meet my younger sons i thought I had more time w her and when i got home i thought my husband will let me cry get it out nope he walks away tells me to stop crying and I feel so alone my best friend i just lost him 3 months ago and I dont deal with death well at all and now i have all this building i. Me i go n hide n cry i really want to scream hold her call her and even fight if that ment she really isnt gone i thought we was a family we would be there for each other i feel more alone then ever

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Not looking forward to Christmas

It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
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