jason e m
  • Male
  • Phoenix, AZ
  • United States
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About my Loss:
This is new to me. Ive never felt the need to reach out so strongly before. Its been very rare in my life that ive found myself in a friendship that felt completely honest and open. Outside of family ive never felt like anyone would truly have my back no matter what until i met ryan. My truest and greatest friend. Ryan william patrick bayer was only 30 years old to my 31... he was my little brother from another mother. The best person i knew to light up anything whether it was a room a conversation or a joint. It didnt matter he did it better than anyone. Im a twin and the first night we met he was with his older brother who just so happens to look exactly like him. We clicked immediately and until 9 in the morning the four of us spoke like wed always neen best of friends... for the next decade we were inseparable... all this time i built this perfect future for myself in the back of my mind and it always included ryan and bobby no matter how much time passed. I see this dinner table in my mind and they were always there. And now one chair is empty. Now i live with this fear innever had before becsuse i never had the instilled fear of death that so many live with... not for myself anyways... Now i see myself old and grey at a tiny table and asking where is everyone... ryan passed two months ago on june 29th of alcohol consumption and now i feel so fucking lost. Very few things in this trumpinfested society give me comfort. He was one of them and i dont know how to deal. Ive never had to and im not sure where to start. I dont know how to ask for help. Everyone i know is in denial or dealing with someone else... please help.

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dream moon JO B posted a blog post

Not looking forward to Christmas

It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
Dec 2, 2024
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Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21, 2024

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