charmaine jobsz
  • Female
  • cambridge
  • United Kingdom
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About Me:
I am 63 yrs old and in July of this year i live in cambridge have three children and three grandsons..I am the oldest of five children.2 sisters and 3 brothers our dear parents are still alive at 86 87.my whole life has always been in support of my entire family i live alone but am surrounded by the family we nearly always did things together since coming to England back in 1963 from Ceylon as it was known then.we had no extended family and so we clung to each other we grew up knowing all each others deepest secrets..
About my Loss:
My loss i cannot put into words many may say her sister was older 61yrs but not to me we always wanted to buy a larger house and the three gilrs live together {as our living brother is married ]us girls were all divorced...I have tried to be there for the whole family two weeks ago i went on holiday whilst on holiday all i could think about was her..i even go into the grave with her not literally.sometimes i feel am i pretending as i dont think i should feel this my heart is so painful i just want her back [but not in the pain she went through..what a trooper she never complained she always dressed up and kept herself looking beautiful she had pancreatic cancer advanced and she never cried only to say she was sorry for putting us through this pain she did not want to leave usthe memeories of her last days was heartrendering i cant bear to recall them but i do...i know and have read others who have lost their darling siblings as i have she cried with her hands on her face three days before and i did not know how to help her i could not the holiday has brought this all out as i have had time to recall things..our elderly parents are distraught..in fact the whole family has been shaken we will be the same again.
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