Not looking forward to Christmas
It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
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aRin Smith
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- George Town
- Cayman Islands
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- About my Loss:
- 10 years ago since the last time I saw her.
Most of the time we spend our time video calling each other, till I run out of credit and my bat died.
10 years ago when I left my country to work abroad, 10 years ago since ...
I thought she were so strong to make it through whatever life gives her, I thought she were fine, I thought I can still make it.
for 10 years shes been asking me to go back home for vacation, I wish I can but things happens when Im trying to. Ive been trying to see her.
last year she got sick, never thougt that shes not gonna make it.
she fought for a month or two but ended up leaving us.
january 3 2020 when she left us. I thought I was gonna make it, before she went into coma I told her my surprise that Im coming home this year march, need to wait for march because we didnt have money and need to wait for my husband redundant pay.
but I was too late,, I will never gonna see her again, Ive been longing for her hugs for the last 10 years.
The person who loved me unconditionally,the only person who never gave up on me. the only person whom i felt the genuine care and love for someone that didnt came from her.
my grandmother who were there through thick and thin, for better or for worse, who made me feel secure. who became more than my mother.
Nay.
Help me to be okay.. I dont know what Im going to do. Its very painful. I dont know what to do to accept it. Youve been part of my life since day 1, I dont know how to live without you nay. youre the only person whom I feel comfort when I feel weak and dont know what to do. nay. I need you.
People see me happy, smiling, but deep inside im so so broken nay. i miss you so much and its freaking hurts nay. Ive been looking forward to hug you and make new memories, for you to meet your grandchildren and james, nay you never even get to see us, and how settled I am now.
you used to tell me sorry for not being able to give me a wealthy life, and you will only feel at peace only if you see mylife in a better place.
I want you to know that you are worthy, I dont care about the wealth because your love is reacher than anything ealse in this world. I will never trade you for anything else nay. I love you so much and I am thankful that God had blessed me with such an amazing nanay like you I believe that he purposely gave you to me bacuse he know that I will need you.
You are the perfect example of Gods love for me. I love you nay and It will be very difficult for me to get through this nay. I miss you so much. I need your hug,
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"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
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