Sherrie Dobbie
  • West Babylon, NY
  • United States
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About Me:
I work full time. Just a regular person.
About my Loss:
An elderly man stumbled by my home one day in the Summer. Worried, I ran outside and told him to stay put. I back my car to where he could get in and took 2 very heavy bags from him. I gave him my name; he gave me his. His name is Bill. He will remain in my heart forever, now safe from any harm, lonliness or hunger.
I watched for him whenever I was home. I would ride him home and carry his bags. Just before Thanksgiving, I gave him a ride. I had grabbed a cart I had bought him and asked if he would be able to put it together.
When we reached his little rental, I grabbed a warm fleece coat I had in my trunk. It was cold and he was not dressed well. I carried his bags to his door and put the coat on him. I told him he had to stay warm. I cooked an extra Thanksgiving dinner. I never wanted to intrude on him, so I knocked on his door and left the dinner. I included a note and told him I would see him soon.
I went back just before Christmas and put 2 bags by his door; again I just knocked. I had warm clothes in one and food in another. I went back a couple of days later, to ask him if he needed groceries as I was going to the store and it was so cold. The bags were still there by the door. I checked with the landlord; he had not seen him in 2 weeks. This bothered me a lot. I got in the car and called the police. They put me through to the welfare police and I explained my concern for this frail man. I went to the store, and I felt I had to go back. I drove up to see a police car in the drive. I was relieved; they had not ignored my plea. I walked around back again and saw Bill's door open with the landlord standing there.
I was hoping for a miracle in that moment. And perhaps in some way not comforting to those of us on Earth, I got a miracle. Bill was dead on the floor and had been there for a while. Bill was gone; he would not be cold and he would not be hungry.
I could add so much more. I could explain he did not understand why I helped him. I knew I wanted to.
I cried til I was sick because I realized my small efforts
had been way too little, too late in Bill's tragic life.
I will miss him. I want to watch for him out the window, and I know I will never see him again. I can't hug him and tell him his existence mattered to and I can't explain that to anyone and make sense.
If God has Bill in his care, perhaps Bill knows how I will miss him and our rides to take him home. But, God has taken this frail lonely man into His care. Bill fell through the cracks of our society. No one knew if he had any relatives, and no one seemed to care.
Bill mattered to me; that brief time of knowing him
mattered and made my life better for knowing him.

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At 8:50pm on December 29, 2010, Deb said…
You were his living angel
 
 
 

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Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
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Oct 10
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Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26
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Kali joined Cathy Richardson's group
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Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
Sep 25
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