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About my Loss:: In the last five years I have lost more than I could possibly imagine. Both of the troubled teens that lived with me (My baby sister & my deceased sisters son) are now dead. I was in an accident with my older sister when I was 17, she was killed. Her son later lived with me, he shot himself just over 4 years ago. My baby sister also lived with me as a teen (10 years younger than myself, she was murdered (stabbed 15 times)by her ex a year ago. To make it worse, he did it in front of my 12 year old niece. They are in Las Vegas so I don't have the gift of spending time with her girls. In addition to the death, I escaped a domestic violence ridden marriage 4 years ago and have a 16 year old special needs son who was abused and now suffers from PTSD. I also lost my career with the failure of the bank I worked for. I feel as if I have been beat to a pulp, have little energy and am in a state of depression I cant seem to shake. I have been in grief counseling, have gotten a new job and even have managed to meet an amazing man. Funny thing, the one year anniversary of my baby sisters murder just passed and instead of feeling better, its crazy...I feel just as raw, sad and traumatized.