Robert
  • Male
  • Pendleton, IN
  • United States
Share on Facebook MySpace
  • Blog Posts
  • Discussions
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Photo Albums
  • Videos
 

Robert 's Page

Gifts Received

Gift

Robert has not received any gifts yet

Give Robert a Gift

Profile Information

About Me:
Outdoorsmen police officer. Own two service companies 8 employees
Love kids. Love America. Christian faith
About my Loss:
Lost my only 16 year old son who had always been my welcomed shadow since he could walk. Lost him in short 7 weeks to Lukemia. My older daughter wants nothing to do with me Believed a lie from a counselor and thus I live a differnt since of loss with her over last 12 years. Now I have nothing when all I ever wanted was a family to care for Kids to love and respect their dad who they know Woukd do anything for them. A wife that respects and loves me
Losing my son in Feb 2015 has rocked my world. I lost my reason I did much I now realize for him. He was a great boy best a father could ever hope for
I have no one to leave anything to now. I have no seed to leave the earth. The boy I truly gave everything everything I had in raising him is no longer here. I taught him how to love his mother. Forgive those who offend, defend and fight when he needed to, to value and recognize the sweetness and gentle loving character in the girls and taught him to respect honor and give all he could to Jesus Christ.
My faith has been shaken to it's core
My 25 yr marriage is worse then ever
My daughter pretended to have a father for a few months after her brothers death after 10 years then only to revert back to never talking to me and shrugging me even though I give her everything ( I know that's some if the problem ).
Life sucks for me I had it all for awhile I really did. Camper, big crew cab truck, beautiful house on 6 acres in country Making 6 digit income Best boy in the world who loved being with dad and who since around 14 started to even voice big dreams together, I have the dirt bikes and the polarus ranger a big shop and two hunting properties and our own back yard large interactive shooting range
The only reason I mention all that is so I can tell you now NOT A SINGLE THING I OWN MEANS ANYTHING TO ME ANYMORE
Some of thst is no doubt by grief I'm sure everyone can relate to thst but
Another big part of why I no longer care about the STUFF I have is I have studied heaven for myself ( not read anyone's books ) straight from the Bible since that TRAGIC TERRIBLE DAY I lost my son.
It's been a year and a half almost and the pain is near the same. I'm no longer in shock but it can suddenly hit me how lost I am not having anyone to love and guide and care for. It's pathetic sickening to me It tears my heart out Yet there are two places I must be honest where I get relief from my grief. One is I'm somewhat embarrassed to say is in simply weeping. Weeping hard and deep you know when your heart actually hurts and it feels likes it's wringing out
I do believe in a good God even though He didn't heal my son and I know he could have When I weep deeply I do so to Him He is all I have I have no more strength and no more value it seems My wife and I seem to be going two different directions which will be a terrible example to those who know we are Christians.
Back to point - when I do weep deeply it only lasts so long then something happens. It's as if God doesn't let it go any deeper and I can't explain it but it's a peace thst cokes over me Somehow I know my son Robbie is okay
The other and much better to me way I get peace in my tragity is by studying heaven FOR MYSELF No more listening to everyone and whst THEY SAY. They had lots to say about this and that and how God wants this and that to be done while my son was sick Fast pray lay hands etc etc etc. Over 1000 people honestly praying I have seen miracles with my own eyes many times I give my tithe and I live uprightly as best I can and only love one woman yet none of thst meant anything. It was my sons time to go and we had to let him go
I cannot get into heaven although I wish I could. It's a million times MORE REAL - EASIER TO GET INTO THEN MANY THINK - and is more like earth then you realize Heaven is a rejoining of family not some strange new life.
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
Police officer

Comment Wall

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

  • No comments yet!
 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

not a chance updated their profile
Tuesday
Carlos F Garcia is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 13
Welcome Them!
Susan Prost updated their profile
Jan 8
Nancy Wilson is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 8
Welcome Them!
Filling Machine updated their profile
Dec 26, 2024
dream moon JO B posted a blog post

Not looking forward to Christmas

It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
Dec 2, 2024
0 Comments
Profile IconBert Sel and Nikki joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 27, 2024
Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 19, 2024
Welcome Them!

© 2025   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service