Losing Someone to Drug Overdose
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- About my Loss:
- My mother died on July 18th 2015. A rare form of throat cancer took her from my family much too soon. I'll never forget the day I got 'the call'. I live far from my family and knew my mothers health wasn't great but nothing can prepare you for "you need to come home if you want to say goodbye". I was on the first plane I could get and I made it to see her last week. I even got one good afternoon with her, she came out of her delirium for a couple of hours and we talked and laughed and hugged. Neither of us really acknowledging what was happening. Mom wanted to die at home, so that left my step father, my sister, and myself as her nurses. It was the hardest thing I'll ever have to do, I'm sure. Watching my mom become incoherent and further from herself minute by minute was heartbreaking. But I didn't have time to deal with any of it. I was overwhelmed by making sure she was comfortable, making sure she had her pills, and later on, injections on time. We all forgot to eat and to sleep, but never once forgot to fluff her pillows or braid her hair.
Her final day came and I was the one on duty. I had just given her a dose of one of her meds and saw her relax and her breathing slowed. I sat there and held her hand as she quietly took her last breath. I still have nagging guilt about just injecting her right before...I think I always will.
I was and still am devastated. My mom. She was gone. She didn't make it to my wedding day, just 6 weeks away. I wish she got to see me walk down the aisle. She would've been so happy.
I've been wishing a lot of things since she died. Life seems so much easier in retrospect. I never would've moved so far away. Or I would've called and visited more often.
But none of that matters now. Now I know I need to learn how to enjoy my life and my new husband despite this heaviness in my heart, despite crying almost everyday, despite feeling utterly alone sometimes.
I just haven't gotten there yet.
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Does anyone else feel pressure to always reply because you're afraid it'll be the last conversation?
Hi everyone. This is my first post here.I lost my brother in December 2024 to an accidental overdose. He passed away suddenly in his sleep. We were only a year and a half apart in age, and he was the closest person I've ever had.One thing I've been struggling with ever since is that I feel an overwhelming pressure to reply to texts and answer calls as soon as I can. If someone messages me and I don't respond right away, my mind starts thinking, "What if something happens to them before I reply?…See More
"Hi Rosa,
First, I am so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. Losing someone you love only two days ago is incredibly painful, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling unsure about what to do right now.
Personally, I don’t…"
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. For 5 days Dad and I were on watch 24 hours. Like you, that was the hardest thing I have had to endure. Thanks for sharing your story- it helps to know we are not alone .