"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
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Nicole's Page
Profile Information
- About Me:
- Survivor
- About my Loss:
- I lost my Brother to a heroin overdose. I was worried about him and when I went to his apartment it was too late. He had died. I didn’t know he was doing heroin. I knew that he struggled with painkillers for years and untreated grief and trauma. He tried many times to detox, but never moved forward to the emotional part. Logically I know that I am not at fault. I didn’t cause it, I can’t cure it and I can’t control it. But I am in the part of my grief where I am experiencing “What If’s and I / we should have done more. It breaks my heart to know he was suffering and needed more help. It tears me up inside that all of the things I had said and wanted to try with him fell on deaf ears or were way sided by denial.I feel like the moment he tried it he never had a chance to get the demon off of his back. I watched him turn into a different person, I watched him struggle, I saw his pain. It was all so sad, stressful and worriesome over a 10 yr period. We were close in age and since I was born I always wanted to be right next to him. I felt lucky when he would let me. He had a big heart, was kind, loving, smart, funny and genuine. He had the most beautiful brown eyes and long eyelashes. All of my friends loved him. I feel awful for getting mad at him over the years because I felt like he was taking away my Parents golden years with his addiction. It was a big secret I was told I needed to keep by family members. The secret of addiction was consuming me. I go to therapy and am an al anon and it’s the only solace. This is the second sibling I’ve lost. The pain is deep, the feelings and emotions are raw. Everything I have experienced since the moment I discovered him has been grim. All of it too real. I will never be the same and I can’t relate to others right now. I am just try8ng to cope with the trauma, the loss and even though I was there to find him I am still in shock and disbelief. Nighttime is the worst for me and when when I wake up. I’m worried about my Parents. My brother and I were supposed to take care of them together. I miss him, I love him and I am devastated. Love and prayers are needed.
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Zoom Grief Support
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Latest Activity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
"Kali
I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal.
Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
It was not supposed to be like this
In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
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Nicole, The tribute you just paid in explaining your grief is something your brother heard. He loves you.