Not looking forward to Christmas
It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
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Melissa Lee
- Female
- Levelland, TX
- United States
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Profile Information
- About Me:
- I am 32, single, mother of three beautiful children...... looking for my path in life to serve God to the fullest.
- About my Loss:
- I was married to a compulsive, controlling, bi-poler, drug addicted man for 12 years. I was mentally abused, and physically abused. Which is very hard for me to admit to. God saved me, when he was arrested, and taken to the pen for 3 years... This was a year ago. During my 12 years of living a complete lie, I lost many family members. Starting with the woman I always looked up to, my Great Grandmother. She was 92. She was the first, closest death. If that makes any sense. I realized mortality, i suppose, if that is the right word. From that point, I seemed to lose someone every other year. The most shocking, my dad, unexpectedly in 2005, he was 54. I am leaving out sooo much, because at this point I get overwhelmed and don't feel like writing anymore. Currently I am looking for some kind of work. My Grandparents are supporting my basic needs, rent, utilites. Which makes me feel even more helpless, and ashamed. But thank God for them... without them emotionally, not financially, I would be nothing. In a relationship, but am not feeling what I know I should feel, and what I deserve. My teenage daughter, ran off with her boyfriend, because I will no longer let him stay at our house. My middle son is so caring and there for me, but full of anger and dissapointment. I worry about it. Last my 2 year old is a true gift from God, but is currently driving me crazy. My mother is living with me again.. I've seemed to have to care for her since I was 15 and never had a "mother" of my own. I've been hers'. She basically drank herself to near death, resulting in brain surgery. Now with a huge scar on her half shaven head, she sits in my life, on my platter. I'm sure God put her back here for a reason, and I am very thankful she is alive, with no urge to drink.....but.....what now? There are so many emotional things, and at this moment I really need someone to care about my feelings, and my mental well being,I've always been self less, putting all myself into everyone else. It's hard for me when no one sees that I am crying out for help of somekind. I just want to tell them how stupid they are, wake up! ok well, that's about all I can handle typing right now. Isn't that enough?? Ha Ha... I still have my humor, and wish for my anger and pain to not be there when I wake, I try so very hard, and I'm a happy person.....just ready to free my pain.
Groups
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Being the Other Woman/Ot…
45 members
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Loss of a loved one to a…
3 members
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Grief Counseling
141 members
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Sibling Loss
10 members
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Losing My Sister
5 members
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Losing a Sister
94 members
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Funeral Service
2 members
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I miss my Mom!
751 members
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LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITE…
15 members
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Loss of a child In memor…
29 members
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Too Young To Die
17 members
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Multiple Losses Group
324 members
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Zoom Grief Support
39 members
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Orphaned Adults
80 members
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Sole Survivors
15 members
Latest Activity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
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