Melissa Anselmo
  • Female
  • Staten Island, NY
  • United States
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About Me:
Im a single mother of an eternal 18 year old, AJ.He passed on May 12, 2018, the worst day of my life. Ive only ever wanted to be a mother.He was my only child. I had him at 23. I really haven't thought about me since I was blessed with his birth. I am Catholic and found that praying has been beneficial.Journaling has also helped. I've always been the life of the party, so this life sadness is particularly hard to deal with as well.I have been a teacher for 18 years in NY. I am dating a wonderful supportive man who is recently retired from serving on the NYPD for 28 years. I am a dog mommy to two Goldendoodles, Bonnie and Klyde. I am a daughter to two wonderful parents and a sister, who is a wonderful mommy to my 2 year old nephew.Before my son's passing, we were seriously discussing making a life change to move south.Now, we are so confused as to what to do.My heart is forever broken. WE were a package. HE was my one and only. HE was my sunshine, my only sunshine. When we were allowed to see AJ and say our final farewell,my son had a smile on his face.I hold onto the hope that someone special was there to help him cross over.I have been blessed by signs that I know are him saying that he is good.Problem is,how will I show him I am good when I dont think I ever will be again.Ultimately,after the autopsy,it was discovered that my son had pnemonia,which went undiagnosed.It developed into sepsis that also went undetected until it reached his heart causing a heart attack.
About my Loss:
My loss of my son was sudden and unexpected.Friday, May 11 2018 we went to urgent care.AJ tested negative for the flu and strep.The PA advised to take Motrin,to go home and sweat out the fever.After receiving IV for dehydration there,we went home.He had a friend over and they were laughing and having a good time.I could never expect the nightmare that was looming before us.5:00AM Saturday May 12th,AJ banged on my bedroom door and asked if I could take him to the ER.His fever was high,he kept saying his stomach was hurting and couldnt stop throwing up.I took him to the nearest hospital and he walked to the ER himself.We were quickly admitted because of the early hour,Im sure.They again said he had a virus,put him on another IV for fluids and gave him an anitnauseau med through IV.AJ kept saying his chest was hurting.His blood pressure was normal,chest sounded clear,he showed to be getting 100% oxygen,he had an EKG that came back normal.He started complaining about his swollen lymph node on the side of his neck and was told by the dr that it is so swollen because it is doing its job fighting off the infection.I requested a sonogram of his neck and his stomach.My son was walking around in pain,speaking normally,and using the bathroom independently.A catscan with contrast was ordered next.He spent an hour drinking the horrible drink,then waiting another hour for the results.The sonogram results came back.Gall bladder was swollen.The drs told me it might need to be removed.Because of his age,18 and the fact that he did not have an adult dr,he was still considered to be under pediatric care.My son was a 5'9",176lb man.But I agreed,thinking I had to do the best for my son and who am I to question the DOCTORS?Due to the fact that that particular hospital did not have a pediatric wing,they planned to transport him via ambulance to their other hospital location 30 minutes away that had a pediatric unit.AJ was excited.It would be his first ambulance ride.I still had no idea of how bad the situation was getting.We arrived at the other hospital,where AJ was admitted to a room. This was around 1:00pm.I had a foolish comfort that now we "knew" what was wrong with my son,it would be a quick fix.WE were just getting settled into the room.Starting sweating A LOT.I called the nurse.He started to get so hot he tossed and turned and accidentally ripped out his IV.The nurse asked myself and my parents to wait in the Parent Lounge.I noticed his feet getting large blotchy marks,which I inquired about and was told by the nurse that he was cold.I put his hospital socks on his feet,blew him a kiss and went to wait in the Parent Lounge while they gave him another IV.In a matter of five minutes,I see my son being rolled past the Parent Lounge,into Pediatric ICU.As he passed,he raised his head,smiled,blew me a kiss,and gave me a peace sign. That was the last time I saw my son alive.I asked why they were moving him and the dr assured me that this was so he could have a one on one nurse to monitor him.No sooner than those words came out of his mouth,what looked like a hundred drs went running into my sons room.From through the door,I heard Cardiac arrest.I looked at my mother and said they couldnt possibly be talking about AJ.This strong funny young man that just graduated high school a few months early.A graduation he will never walk for.They made me come into the room to show me that they were preforming CPR and trying their best to revive my son.I asked them to do anything.They gave him a tracheotomy and continued CPR.They sweated and switched for an hour.I looked at my mother and said we have to let him go.My beautiful boy.My whole heart.How can I be the one to say stop?I would have given my life for his if I could.The drs called time of death at 5:40pm.I am still shocked that this whole tragedy happened in such a short span.I never thought to say goodbye.I never knew it was that bad.

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Not looking forward to Christmas

It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
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