Melissa Ann Smith
  • Female
  • Needles, California
  • United States
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About Me:
I am 38 years old, & I am from the San Diego area originally but I moved to Fort Mohave, Arizona in the spring of 1988 when my son Andrew was only a year old, & I was only 17 years old @ the time! I lived in the Fort Mohave area until the spring of 2008, then I moved across the Colorado River back to California, Needles to be exact to start a new life after my son & mother passed away!!!
About my Loss:
I found my eldest son not breathing on my parents living room floor face first not breathing very early on in the morning of November 27 th, 2008! So I tried waking him up to no avail, so I called 911 & the operator told me to turn him over & perform CPR on him, but he was way too heavy to do that so luckily I lived on a street that had a fire station on the corner so it only took moments for the paramedics to arrive, so they did all they could for him too & they told me that they pronounced him dead right there on the living room floor!!! To me, it looked like my angel was asleep & very peaceful!!! So to make a long story short, my son passed away in his sleep @ only 18 years of age due to a seizure!!! That is why it looked like he was sleeping!!! I will ALWAYS have that picture of him in my head forever!!! Ok, down the road about three years later on June 25 th, of 2008, my beloved mother passed away @ only 69 years of age, & my mother was the one who I could ALWAYS turn to whenever I had a problem, & she made me feel better about whatever situation or problem that I may have had @ the time, now for the very first time in my life, I feel sooo alone that it hurts!!! Loosing my son just totally destroyed what happiness that I will ever have again, & then to loose my mother, well, you tell me how I am supposed to feel or go on with my life because I do not even want to be alive anymore!!!

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At 2:32pm on September 20, 2009, jackie steinbock said…
i am new to this computrer i have never had one before but i need to be able to talk to other people that have lost their sons daughter i feel so alone and sometimes i dont evev know if i can go on with out him. his name is nathaniel and most ofr time i called him nate.hedied on april8 2009 only five months ago and sometimes it feells like the pain of his loss is even getting worse evey day i am not sure how to use this computer but please try to right me back i feel nso lost without him he was 25 but he still live4dme he struggled with drugs alcoho even though i got sober 10 years ago the damage and hurt i caused him had already been done
 
 
 

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dream moon JO B posted a blog post

Not looking forward to Christmas

It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
Dec 2
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Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
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Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
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