Not looking forward to Christmas
It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
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Megan
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Hi Everyone!
I'm new here, and if you read my bio in the "About My Loss" section, it'll tell you everything about my loss. I'm not going to retype it here because I don't want to start crying again. Just wanted…Continue
Started Nov 4, 2010
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Profile Information
- About Me:
- My name is Megan and I am a junior in high-school. I live in the country, and I guess you could call it "living on a farm". I own horses, dogs, a cat, rabbits, chickens, ducks, etc.. I am a 4-Her and my Mom and I show and raise rabbits. I love sports as well. Baseball and football are my two main favorites. I love my family and without them, I'd be nothing. My Mom is my bestest friend in the whole wide world, and without her, I don't know what I'd be doing and how. I've been trying to find a good support forum, but this is the first I've found in awhile. I actually thought I registered here a few months back, but it accepted my email address. Maybe I used a different email address, but if I did, I don't remember it, therefore I wouldn't even be able to do a password reset! Anyway, that's a little bit about me.
- About my Loss:
- My Grandfather, Thomas, was a WW2 veteran and a hard worker. He worked since he was 16 years of age. He always fought battles through his life, and unfairly, he passed away on June 30th, 2010. He had so many surgeries for so many different problems, including repeat surgeries for his heart. He battled pneumonia cases on and off for years. Then on Easter weekend of 2010, he was washing walls and the next day woke up in severe pain, and two weeks later was diagnosed with stage four cancer. Going back in his records, they thought they saw something in 2009, but didn't bother to tell us OR my Grandfather. They could have done markers to test for lung cancer. I feel that if they would have done that, maybe my Grandfather would have had a chance. He didn't even have time to say "goodbye". It was a matter of a month and he was gone. It is very hard for me to deal with. My Grandfather was the rock of this family. It feels like the whole world is falling apart all around me, and it feels like my family is just coming apart. He held this family together. It is just very rough, and I don't even want to face the Holiday season without him. He was a part of our daily lives, and it hurts so much. It's not fair that he had to go through this. My Grandfather has suffered so much, and I just don't get it. My Grandfather was a kind and caring man. He would help anyone, no matter who you were or what you were like. He loved his family and always made sure they were taken care of. He worked until he was 84 years old, because he died at the age of 84. He had a chance to play for the Detroit Tigers back when he was 16, but his dad told him to "find a real job". I miss talking Tigers baseball with him and watching the games with him. There is just so much I want to say. What also hurts is the fact that he died in the hospital, the same hospital he walked out of over 100 times victoriously! The last comment he made before he went back there, this time being cancer, was "I'll never go back to that place again!" and it's like a kick in the stomach that he had to go back there, let alone die there. It was a horrible death, too. He suffered so much in the end. Yes, he went through radiation, then one treatment of chemotherapy and a week after the chemo, he died. He was on a ventilator, then he coded twice, they brought him back, but then his heart just slowly stopped. He had no blood pressure. He was in a comatose state without actually being in a coma. My only comfort was that I know he wasn't in pain anymore because without blood pressure, I know he couldn't feel anything. They kept giving him bolus shots after bolus shots and it wouldn't work. I miss you, Grandpa. So much. I love you and always will. I know that you are pain free now, though how I wish you were still here with us.......
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"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
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Dear Megan,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My Father is 4 and a WW2 Veteran. I lost my fiancee to cancer in September 09 and I miss her so much. My therapist says a year and a half is nothing when grieving. My baby passed away after only 5 months after being diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. She passed away unexpectedly and we didn't get to say goodbye. But how do you say goodbye? What do you say? What would we have said anyway? "bye See you later?" Take care? Put in a good word for me? What do you say to the person you love when they are dying? I don't know the answer, but I miss her so much, I cry everyday.