Marcia Jan McGinnis
  • Female
  • Modesto, CA
  • United States
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About Me:
I am 58 year old Christian woman, mother of one daughter, sister, friend to many, and deeply sad . For the most part I keep my grief hidden, at least to those outside my home. My family was made up of such loving people who loved being together, especially at holidays. I deeply want to restore the joy I used to have. I used to be athletic in my younger years, enjoy the out of doors, music, the beach. I am most peaceful at the ocean.
About my Loss:
It was a summer morning when the call came. Mom said she had fallen and hit her head and thought she should be seen by a doctor.She had been giving her patio flowers water before heading to the mall to buy birthday gifts for her granddaughters. I rushed over, to find mom very much together, with an ice pack on her face near her temple. At the hospital we were told that she had a blood clot as a result of the fall. She needed immediate surgery. She asked to be transferred to Stanford University so as to have the best medical help possible, but there was no time, if she was to survive. My mom was a vibrant, fun loving, caring person to many, mom, grandma, and my best friend. How could this happen ? After surgery she was back to new. But within twenty-four hours everything changed. Next came another surgery, ICU, a brief rehab hospital stay, home care and after six months of giving all I had ,finally Hospice. After sitting by her bedside for forty-five days and nights at the Hospice House being told her death would happen any minute, it came, only minutes after I had stepped away from her bed after being awake with her all night. I was the main decision maker throughout the entire ordeal. The guilt is unmanageable. I miss my best friend more than I miss a mother. The pain is so deep. I am an otherwise strong person and have endured tradgey before, but this is completely new territory. This is our third Christmas without her .

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Latest Activity

Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
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Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5
Welcome Them!
Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
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Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26
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