Hi Linda,

Our loss is great and how we choose to deal with it is our bussiness.  I too cry alone, I like it better that way. I think of it now as the time that I spend with Sarah. She is and was a part of my daily life. She lives on in my heart, I talk with her about how hard life is without her and tell her I miss her. The hard part is moving past the overwhelming sadness that I feel. I hear others talk about daily life and I  just want to scream at them. Tell them whatever silly little thing is nothing in comparison to the loss of my Sarah.  Its hard for me to even watch television, what is happening on the Jersey Shore is of no consequence to my life right now. 

I am learning that grief is a private thing, there is nothing that anyone can say that will make you feel better.  Expectations lead to resentments . so as long as I expect nothing from anyone and realize this is my pain the easier my relationships with them become.  I am sure that your husband has dealt with the loss of your sister in his own way.  Many of my friends are waiting for me to call them as they dont know what to say to me.  As I said earlier there is nothing that they can say to make Sarah come back or make my pain any less,

I check my e-mail twice a day and I am here too listen to anything you would like to share. (((((((HUGS))))))

Hi Linda,

I can certainly relate. I haven't felt like going out for the past 2 days and it's the first time in my life that I stayed in especially as it was sunny for 2 miraculous days here on the 'wet coast', which has 'likwid sUNshine for 200 days of the year..as I usually go out riding my bicycle for an hour or two. So, Be Kind to Yourself and Do Whatever you feel like doing or not. I stayed in bed for half of both days sleeping whenever I felt tired, 'escaped' via 'warcraft' and then ate left overs which I really enjoyed thanks to my Best Friend's kindness. She also lost her Father 2 months before me and also lost her mother and brother 10 years ago. It's Good to have a True Friend you can meet or even phone. I wish you well. Be Good to Yourself. Healing is a slow process. Thinking of things I'm Grateful for such as clean water, a roof, bed, tv, etc instead of dwelling on the negatives (unemployment, my 'family' never calling, etc) helps alot as well. Sending you Positive Rays of Hope. John

Hi Linda,

I went to a Biokinesiologist from whom I learned auto hypnosis techniques going to the mirror and telling myself positive affirmations (things I like about myself) to stop the negative thoughts that kept attacking me which I 'learned' from my 'Mother' who was verbally, mentally, emotionally and physically abusive towards me and my dad, as she never wanted children, fearing we would get her epilespy, which her gr.1 'educated' 'Mother' told her teachers not to 'bother' teaching her because they thought she was mentally ill. Unfortunately, she passed this negativity towards me, but I'm healing myself through Al-anon and the 12 steps, even attending AA meetings to educate myself from this family disease.

May you be well. I've had a migrane headache all day and pray God Removes it as well. I 'should' eat, but don't feel hungry. Eating the Right Foods & Sleeping Helps as well as Thinking & Feeling GOOD Thoughts & Doing GOOD Things for Ourself.

So, Be GOOD to yourself and Let the Tears Flow. They are Healing and I am Grateful I live alone so I can shed mine, but Also Very Grateful that I have a Best Friend, who Understands & Accepts me as I am, as she also lost her Father 2 months before mine. I hope this music helps ease your pain as it's helping me with letting go of mine.

http://www.soundstrue.com/shop/Gregg-Braden%E2%80%99s-Music-from-the-Divine-Matrix/3064.productdetails?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Display-Ads&utm_content=greggbraden-music&utm_campaign=Gregg-Braden-FB-Ad  

Hi Linda,

I never allowed myself to 'show' my feelings to my 'family' or 'friends' as I was Terrified of the Rejection and didn'T want to be noticed as my 'Mother' used to either tell me the same as your husband or else she would get angry or laugh at me saying I was "a sucker like she was giving too much to everyone and no body gave a damn about her problems", which she's NEVER 'talked' about her loss of her 'Father' when she was 14. Sixty years later, she didn't show let shed a single tear over my Father whom I saw Dying in Silent Agony from Cancer and even Yelled at me over the phone that he "Did this to himself by not eating right !", blaming his 'drinking' which he stopped 30 years ago, however he wasn't half the alcoholic her 'family' is.

I'm trying to 'understand', 'accept' & forgive my 'Mother' as the Tough 'Love' Character she has been for most of my 'life', but I don't find it easy. I've been Bursting into Tears Sobbing my Heart and Soul out over the Loss of my Father, Especially over the Deep Emotional Hurt & Shock from what he said to me and from the Guilt over How I reacted back to him in September 2009, two months before he was diagnosed with Colon Cancer.

This book is helpful as well

http://www.google.ca/#sclient=psy&hl=en&rlz=1R2GGLL_enCA330&q=opening+our+hearts+transforming+our+losses&rlz=1R2GGLL_enCA330&aq=0&aqi=g2g-v1&aql=&oq=&pbx=1&fp=1&cad=b

Sorry I missed your comments online. I've been having a chaotic day and 'should' go out and get some sunshine while it lasts. I hope you find some comfort in something you like doing.

Sorry for your Losses Linda. I've been Unemployed for a long time and was Powerless 'watching' my Father die in silent Agony from Cancer last year only to Lose "me second mum" Dorothy 8 months and 3 days later. I attended some face to face Grief Support groups which helped somewhat, as they were only 6 visits once a week. However, I now realize I am not alone. I Hope this music helps Comfort you as it is helping me.

http://www.soundstrue.com/shop/Gregg-Braden’s-Music-from-the-Divine-Matrix/3064.productdetails?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Display-Ads&utm_content=greggbraden-music&utm_campaign=Gregg-Braden-FB-Ad