Leilani
  • Female
  • Canada
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About my Loss:
I lost my Mom last year to cancer. I am 30 and my Mom was not even 60, so the loss has come earlier than I ever thought it would. My Mom left behind a husband and 4 kids. I felt like I was getting through the loss and people kept telling me that I was "doing so well and being so strong," but it feels like my grief was only delayed. I am having a harder time now than I was closer to her death and cannot seem to get out of my Pajamas. I lie to people about being busy and sick because I don't want anyone to see how brutal things have gotten. I even lie to my partner about what I have done all day because I don't want him to worry about me. I dropped some courses in school to part time but can barely get to the work that I have left to finish just two courses. I just feel like I am wasting my days in this dark hole and cannot find the energy to pull myself out or even tell anyone how bad it is. I think that my partner knows but I put on a pretty good face most of the time. I just don't want anyone to worry but honestly, I am gettibg concerned for myself as it feels worse now than it did 8 months ago.

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