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Kathleen Scarpati Female Spring Hill, FL United States: Share on Facebook MySpace Tweet

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About Me:: 54, dad's first born. Was attending schoolfor dog grooming but was asked to leave with only 3 weeks to go. Due to the fact that I am still grieving for my dad and don't have a happy face or attitude.

About my Loss:: It has been 3 weeks since my dad died. I still cry everyday, he was my hero and the only man I ever loved.. I cry daily at the thought of never hearing his voice or seeing his smile. I feel so lost without my dad. He was always there when I needed him to be. He died suddenly of a heart attack, which was very unexpected as he worked out at gym 3 times a week and look great. The week before his death he drove 3 hours just to have dinner with me. I feel so lucky for the time we had. Everyday, I'm devastated. I go through the motions of school, but I don't really care anymore. I fix food for the animals and have a small bite as I have no appetite. I want to scream and yell and ask him WHY?! WHY ARE YOU GONE DAD?! I need advice, I don't know what to do. Everyone says their glad that I'm handling everything so well. But they don't know that I'm dying inside. I miss my father, my mentor and friend. I can't sleep if I don't take something to help me sleep.
I've always been the strong and resilient and never let anything hold me back. I don't know how to admit to anyone that I'm not doing as well as they think. I feel empty, lost, and unsure of where I am going or what I am doing. I just want my dad back!