Not looking forward to Christmas
It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
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Judy Ann
- 65, Female
- Daly City, CA
- United States
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- About Me:
- Ex boyfriend has lung cancer. I'm trying to sort out my feelings. Has a couple bad break ups wIth him. I don't know why it's hurting so much to see him wither away.
- About my Loss:
- My ex bf found out he has lung cancer two weeks after we broke up. I didn't hear about it till he'd already been halfway thru chemo. Our last words To each other were not so nice. In fact It was terrible what I yelled at him. I went running to hIs side when I heard the news. I feel the need to be there for him and I took care of him the last 4 days. I never thought I'd be having feelings like this!! It's tearing me up inside to see him suffering. I'm trying to sort out all these feelings. Is it normal to feel ripped apart when an ex who really didnt treat you nice is dying ? We had good times. Lots of them. But then we had lots of bad times including on again off again for 3 yrs. He really was an ass to me sometimes.
Why am I having these feelings? I can't sleep. Im so tired and can't sleep!! I'm in high anxiety mode. It's really breaking my heart and I don't know why. Help please!!
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hello judy,i'm so sorry u r feeling badly.illness and death are trully the most stressfull things.and i kno...trying to sleep is so hard!it was so nice of u to be by his side,even if he wasnt the nicest guy.its noemal,i think,to feel traumatised by someone dying,and that u do means u must be a verry caring person and have a verry big heart.take care~hugs~