Jessica Williams
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  • United States
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About Me:
I am 21. I am married to my best friend. We began dating june 26th 2007 when i was going into the 10th grade and in 2010 we got married. We have one daughter. She was born nov 27th of 2011. I used to drive my mom to her appointments but when i had my daughter, i became a stay at home mom. About a month ago I got a part time job.
About my Loss:
My mother was my comfort, rock, peace, and protection. Even though she was only 100lbs (at her healthiest). She had been sick most of her live and it was always an uphill battle for her. My father left us before i was born and has been out of the picture ever since. I have no siblings so my mom was my best friend. When i was younger, i would kiss my mom five times then kiss her five more times before i left to spend the night with a friend. I just couldnt leave her. When i was in my last month of pregnancy, she became very ill with phnemonia and missecd my baby shower but was there for the birth of her granddaughter. For the next few months, she just became sicker and sicker.. she also became depressed and quit eating. When she entered the hospital she weighed 62 lbs. She was admitted to icu of the local hospital but when she couldnt be on the ventilater anymore, they transferred her to a larger hospital and there she was on a vent breathing for her for about three weeks. After that, they put a trach in her throat. She was in the hospital for about four more weeks after that and became more disoriented as the days went on. Her last week in the hospital, i didnt go. I couldnt see her like that.. I told myself i will go when she gets a tad better. I seen her last on a wednesday and the following wednesday i got a call that i should come up to see her. I got there around five and just a little after seven pm she was gone. I held her hand has she took her last breath. I was in charge of everything since she was not married and i was the only child. I was in depression for months and got a job hoping it would help.. it did help for about a month and now im back to square one. I want to sleep all day and cant help but cry all night. Now i have another obligation with my job and am feeling overwhelmed, lost, hopeless, and confused. I miss my best friend more with each passing day, and the agony of missing her seems to increase as the days pass too. Does it ever get better???

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Not looking forward to Christmas

It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
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