Jessica
  • Female
  • QLD
  • Australia
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About Me:
I'm a 21 year old Uni student studying full time
About my Loss:
My Dad was amazing, he was brave and strong and courageous, he was my advice giver, he was someone i so highly admired, he was my dad and i loved him to bits, he was adventurous, he was fun loving and a supporter of all my dreams. He never smoked a day in his life but was diagnosed with oesophagus cancer which spread to his lungs, his brain, his liver, his lymph nodes, everywhere, he was given six months to live if he was lucky. My dad was stubborn as hell and fought so hard to stay longer with us, he survived for a year and a half. This was the most challenging, heart wrenching 18months of my life, he was in and out of hospital constantly, trips to the ICU, he had brain surgery, pneumonia, tumours cut out. I watched helplessly as this physically strong man slow deteriorated, first loosing his ability to eat, to speak, to walk, to stand, harder to breath, harder to swallow, I looked after him in his final couple of months so that he didn't have to move into palliative care, I hated answering the phone in case I received bad news. In hospital two nights before he died he was in and out of conscious and I with my brother were sitting at his bedside, he reached out trying to touch me and i took his hand, he looked at me and smiled and squeezed my hand, i knew that was him telling me it was okay, silent tears rolled down my cheeks there was nothing i could do, i couldn't take his pain, i couldn't help him,i could just hold his hand and love him. He passed away 4th April 2016, i don't know if it gets easier or harder, but i miss him immensely, some days i feel like my chest physically hurts, other days its like a constant longing, I feel i grieve for the past, i grieve because i can't share things that are happening him now and i grieve for all the moments together that will never be <3

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Not looking forward to Christmas

It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
Dec 2, 2024
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