Not looking forward to Christmas
It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
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I wish there was a way for the living to soothe the hurt of losing a loved one but I have not found one for myself so the best I can do is say I care. What I will tell you though and I don't know it will help but I lost my husband two years ago to terminal cancer. I realize your pain is raw and hard to deal with so what I am about to say does not diminish what you feel. But I will tell you what I think anyone who has lost their spouse and had been left behind to deal with it would also tell you. They were lucky.
Why? Because the ongoing pain of not having the person beside you 24/7 you were intimate with is worse than death. I lost both my parents and I grieved heavily. I knew there was no pain like it I had ever experienced and I couldn't believe it myself. There was this horrible sense of loss but my parents had brought us up to know we would all have our own life and we would live it in their image. To be the best person we could be because of the foundation they had given us.
Fast forward to my own life. Married to my best friend, lover, confidant, a man who I was inextricably connected to. For 35 years, twice the time I lived with my parents, I spent with the man who was my mirror. If your parents had a strong marriage I can guarantee you that if one of them had been left behind to deal with the kind of pain that happens when your spouse dies, you would not have wanted to witness the pain the surviving parent would have had.
Grieving the loss of both your parents is going to be hard but if you can, know for them it was a most gentle departure. It is what millions of surviving spouses would have wished for. If while grieving for them you remember how hard it would had been for either one of them then you are the daughter of whom they are very proud. Hopefully you understand the spirit in which this is written. Take care.