Jean
  • 73, Female
  • Fort Lee, NJ
  • United States
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  • Diana, Grief Recovery Coach

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About Me:
I'm a middle aged, married woman. spiritual. I love God and believe deeply in an after life.
About my Loss:
I lost my mother five years ago to pancreatic cancer. I wish I could say time heals. I don't know about the healing. I miss my mother every single day and I just want the pain to go away. I know it won't. I understand that. I understand a lot of things logically, but i still struggle. I work every day. I laugh, I pretend. I keep pretending. But in my alone hours, it is overwhelming. I'm not suicidal, but I have zero problem with greatly wanting to leave here.

so, I'm just looking for a community of people where I can be honest and say, I hurt. I can't do it with my husband. We have enough to deal with as we deal with the economy and our fiscal situation -- and the uncertainities.

I ask God to let me talk with my mom in my dreams. I know if He allows it, she can speak with me and that helps. Good thing she knows more now that she is spirit. Because I'm getting on my own nerves not being able to live fully. My mom.

Jean's Blog

Today

Well, it's been 5 years and 4 months since my mother transitioned. I typically have a rough time in March because that was her birth month and my sister and I would spend months planning for her birthday. My mother had a very bad earthly life and we wanted so much to make her later years special.



I guess I spend far too many hours thinking of all the wrong things I did to my mother and not nearly enough time thinking about the good times. I wish my brain would remember more of the… Continue

Posted on March 4, 2009 at 9:54am — 1 Comment

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At 2:01am on October 23, 2009, Katherine Ellis said…
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Now you have to get through a birthday. One of the things that keep me going is I know I will see my daughter, Dad and Mom again. this road of grief that we have to travel doesn't get us a map or instruction booket. It just brings up pao\in, tears and feeling like your going crazy someday. I am glad you found this site and hope it helps you. If I can be of any help please just let me know. Gods Blessing to you and your family
At 8:16am on March 4, 2009, Diana, Grief Recovery Coach said…
Welcome to the community. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Since you believe in an afterlife, like I do, you may enjoy the following site:

http://www.youreternalself.com/

Diana
 
 
 

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