Emilie LaPrade
  • Female
  • Miami, FL
  • United States
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About Me:
I'm a 30 year old single mom. I love rainbows and long walks on the beach, lol, just kidding, I love the rain, not rainbows and I hate the beach but I love the ocean. I'm an avid reader and have recently become addicted to crossword puzzles
About my Loss:
I was in an abusive relationship when my son was born and we (my ex and I) were living at my parents house. One week after the birth of my son, after I as up all night caring for our son, feeding, rocking etc, I finally got him to sleep (at appx. 7a.m. I was exhausted). It was at this point that my ex woke up and started accusing me of stepping out on him in the middle of the night to be with some other man.

Things became heated quickly and my father woke up and in an effort to stop our fighting and prevent my ex from harming me or my son, stepped between us. My ex then punched him in the face, breaking his nose and driving the bones so deep (within millimeters of his brain) that the blow alone nearly killed him.

A police report was filed for aggravated battery and my ex fled the scene only to be picked up later on a probation violation two counties away. My father in the meantime had surgery to fix his broken nose, but their were complications. First a pulmonary embolism, then MRSA, which infected his heart, killing him slowly and painfully over a period of eight months.

During this time my ex was brought to another county to serve time for his probation violation. The county that I live in failed to file the necessary paperwork to bring him down to serve trial, allowing the charges to be thrown out because they violated his right to a speedy trial.

My ex's actions directly contributed to my Fathers death but no justice was ever done, he got away scott free, never serving one day in jail for what he did. My mother and I on the other hand lost our house and had to sell everything we had that was of any worth, just to survive.

That was eight years ago, my father was my best friend, he loved me unconditionally, supported me in everything I did and only wanted for me to be happy. He never got any justice at all, my ex should have been charged with involuntary manslaughter at the least, and if they had done it right he would still be in jail. I feel like he stole my Fathers life and ruined mine.

The worst part though is that I still have to deal with him because he has "rights" as the father of my son. I can't qualify for much needed government services like medicaid because they require I go after child support (I have Bipolar Disorder and severe and chronic PTSD from what I went through at the hands of my ex, not only what he did to my father but from what he had already done to me, including beating me while I was pregnant). I am terrified that if I go after him for child support he will abuse the legal system again as a way to punish me, and demand visitation with my son, who I am afraid for him to be alone with.

I have been trying to get an exemption to the child support requirement, so I can get medicaid (the only insurance I can afford that will pay for mental health services) for which it has been necessary for me to compile a tremendous amount of information. I've been unemployed for nearly 7 months now, primarily due to my mental illness being poorly controlled by sub-standard care. My savings (I put away a little of every dollar I ever earned for a rainy day, even had a 401k) are all tapped out, without this exemption I don't qualify, this is the last month I can even pay for my meds,

I'm really suffering dredging up all this old baggage. I was only getting by before but I'd finally started to be able to talk about some of the good times with my dad. Whenever I work on the documents, I cry for hours and I can't stop crying for days. He destroyed my family, took from me the person I was closest to, who'll never know his grandson and only got to hold him a few times and he still gets to make me live in fear eight years later. He has "Rights." Where the hell are mine?

Sorry to be so long, I just had a lot I needed to say. None of my friends understand, even the ones who've felt the grief of losing a parent. This is different that just losing someone.

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