Ellen Selfridge
  • Female
  • Pleasant Grove, CA
  • United States
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About Me:
I am a 31 year old mother of two boys. My oldest son is 11 and my youngest son is 9. I am also disabled because of cerebral palsy. I was in a major car accident on June 19th 2011. I broke my back, neck and nose. I had to have emergency surgery to remove a kidney and my ear was ripped off although (thank God) the Doctors were able to reattach it.
Anyway I am just trying to recover from my car accidents and my losses.
About my Loss:
I have suffered a number of losses. In January of 2008 on her 6th Birthday my Niece was diagnosed with brain cancer. Eight months to the day of diagnoses she passed away. My family and I were in a stage of major mourning. My sister was like a walking Zombie. I felt helpless because I couldn't do anything to help her. It was the most difficult time of our life to say the least.
I was married for almost 10 years. My husband suffered from a number of psychological disorders. He had been extremely depressed. This had been an on going battle for the last 3 yrs of our marriage. So, the morning of February 10th 2010, I was getting up to begin getting up to get my boys off to school. I walked out to the garage to get my sons clothes from the dryer. When I walked out the door I walked out and into my husband. He had hung himself during the night. This was more then devastating to me words just can't describe how I felt. My boys where now without a father and me without my husband. I made the decision to move back home with my mother.
At that time my moms house was packed because awhile after my sister and her husband lost their daughter, they moved in with my mom too. Of course this was difficult because there was me and my two boys, my sister and her two boys (ages 3 and 11) her husband and my mother. I was happy to have my family close to me during this very difficult time. I especially enjoyed my mom, my sister and my Nephews being with me and my boys.
On April 6th 2010 (the day after Easter) my sister and her family were heading down to Ventura (L.A, we live in the Sacramento region) and she asked my 8 year old (at the time) if he wanted to go with them. I had a bad feeling about this trip and even took my son aside and asked him if he would stay home. He didn't want too. So, my sister, her husband, their two sons and my son left on this trip. This is where I have to add that my sister was also eight months pregnant and exhausted from not sleeping.
I got a call around 11 that night and they were near Bakersfield ca. She sounded great and I cut the conversation short because I was heading to the store. I told her to be safe and give the kids kisses and that I loved her and that was that. I went to sleep after coming home. At 5am there was someone banging at our door. We were told that they were in a car accident. My sister and her unborn baby boy didn't make it. Everyone else was ok. Even my son who was thrown 30ft from the car as it flipped upside down 5-7 times.
So this is where I'm at now, I am still living with my mom who is a shell of her former self, raising my two sons and my two Nephews. My brother in law moved back home a little over a year ago and we are all just trying to cope.
Our lives will NEVER be the same, our loved ones are gone and we are left her to live this life day after day after day. I'm just looking for people that understand how I feel and what I'm going through. God bless you all! I hope to find some people to talk with.

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